Poems about the Bible Bee

Margaret Eddy and I have finally come to the conclusion that Memversers need a Bible Bee Poetry thread. A place to post their poetry as a collection.

Margaret also suggested that we define the word “Doggerel” (as seen on Wikipedia) from the beginning.

"Doggerel is a derogatory term for verse considered of little literary value. The word probably derived from dog, suggesting either ugliness, puppyish clumsiness, or unpalatability (as in food fit only for dogs). "Doggerel" is attested to have been used as an adjective since the fourteenth century and a noun since at least 1630."

"Doggerel might have any or all of the following failings:
Trite, cliché, or overly sentimental content
Forced or imprecise rhymes
Faulty meter
Misordering of words to force correct meter
Trivial subject
Inept handling of subject"

So here I present you with a place to post your poems however gloomy or cheerful they may be! I hope you enjoy this thread. :)

^Does that look okay Margaret?^

So are you going to post all poems that you find written on the Bible Bee subject in the past, or is this a place only for poems written "from here on", or will you leave posting past poems to the authors of said poems?

I will do my best to post all the poems here. Giving post for each of them. Btw, I'm not sure whether or not to count your sister's among them. She was the inspiration for all of this… but she took hers from Shakespeare. What do you think?

Hailed by the ignorant masses,
As a heightened state of existence;
Alas, the sound of trumpets proclaiming years gone by,
My ear hears as the sound of hammer against nail,
On my coffin – as a sign
That forevermore I am banned,
Never again to be what I once was.
That door has been nailed shut to me.

~Seth W.

Alas, alack! Two years have I
Before my bell of doom will peal.
This fate must befall me as well.
For though I were but four days hence
Born from where my birth date lays,
(Or were the deadline four days prior,)
I would still have yet three more years.
Oh Shelby Kennedy Foundation!
Wilt thou allow me this privilege?
What much difference doth four days make,
When I could have another year?
However, if you do decide
(Though I surely hope you will not)
To keep the deadline as it is,
I will not grumble or complain.
I yet possess the greater treasure
That age will never take from me.

~Matthew Minica

Supposing I was born on leap year perhaps I could make an appeal
The question “How spent you the summer?” will ring on and on in mine ear
It is but, Alas! the years allotted to each of us are set in steel
My sorrow is in looking at the fact those years of competition can’t stay
Time belongs to the Lord even after my years of Bible Bee are done
Though I truly regret my fate I will seek to be faithful anyway.

~Sarah B.

I have yet 8 years,
Before I start to shed the tears
Of sadness that I will never see
A new Bible Bee shirt on me.
Oh, I am glad
I won't be sad
Because I left BB
For another 8 years but only for me
Is that thought true.
The others, older, are now blue
Because they never
Ever ever
Compete again.

~Hannah (the other)

I hath but 2 short years
Before I'm doomed to say
I'm much too old for Bible Bee
It makes me sad, but may…
May I treasure the years
I had in the Bee
And help those others who come after me
In the future years of Bible Bee! :)

~Rachel

And now at last I'll start behaving,
Because they ask for no more waving.
No more will I succumb to strokes,
When all the staff tell us their "jokes".
And never more will I ask "Why?"
They torture us with the "Apply".
With no more Studies to critique,
My future life looks somewhat bleak.
Oh Bible Bee: you will I miss,
But, oh the joy, and oh the bliss.

~Margaret Eddy

In the quiet early morning,
Ere the birds are out of bed,
When the wind is softly blowing,
I jumped up and said,

"This day is June First,
And my box I must find!
The long awaited day is here!"
But then the truth hit my mind.

No more to study
For a confusing test.
No more to work hard
And hope for the best.
Those days are gone for ever.
No more Bible Bee, no never.

Then I sat down and I cried.
"Why not just one more year?
Why am I too old so soon?
Why is my future so drear?"

So there I sat lamenting
The fate that befell me.
Wishing that I was somehow younger,
Still able to compete in the Bible Bee.

Was I no more to study
For a confusing test?
No more to work hard
And hope for the best?
Those days are gone for ever.
No more Bible Bee, no never.

But soon I realized
How foolish it was to be sad.
Why was I sobbing over something
That wasn't over but just began?

True, my Bee days were long over,
But all what I had learned
Would be with me forever -
All the truths so patiently earned.

Though no more to study
For Bible Bee,
I will study hard
Till eternity!
And praise the Lord for my days
Spent studying about His ways.

~Emily H.

I will ask Sarah about hers; what about my lovely tear-jerker haiku with the explanation?

Sorry Margaret! Here it is:

"WARNING: This is a Haiku poem. If you do not know what a Haiku poem is and/or have never been forced to write one, consider yourself blessed. The pattern of the number of syllables is 5-7-5 and the last word is supposed to be a "key word" to use Bible Bee terminology."

Last year of Bible Bee:
Outside is stiff upper lip,
but inside are tears.

~Margaret Eddy

"Not the best poem in the world, but at least it has shortness going for it."

Oh dear. :P I was just being silly. Save this forum for people who actually know how to write! xP xP

Stop beating up on yourself! I didn't think it was bad. :)

:P It might not have been bad, but it definitely wasn't good. :P And this is a thread for real poems. xP

Alas, for me remains a heavier doom,
Which I with some unwillingness pronounce:
The sly slow hours shall not determinate
The dateless limit of my drear exile;
The hopeless word of 'never to compete again'
Is breathed 'gainst me, on pain of being disqualified.
~Shakespeare/Sarah E

Oh, I didn't mean that when I wanted "Doggerel" posted at the beginning, I meant that no one would feel like they had to tell us that the quality of poetry was not high, it would make it abundantly clear that we are already aware of it.
Your poem blends in much better with the rest than Shakespeare does.

Oh, it has nothing to do with you wanting that at the beginning!

I have a great idea. (Do you feel worried when I say that?)

We could have ELLIE change the name of this thread to "Bible Bee Doggerel".

(No, I think "Great! I like your ideas" :P)

Haha, that would be good for the people like me who have no idea nor (very much) desire to write good poetry. But what about you, Sarah, Seth, etc?

(Then again, maybe I should feel worried…)

If you could first tell me how to change the name of a thread… then I'd consider it. :)

I thought mine was doggerel-ish.

I have yet 8 years, Before I start to shed the tears Of sadness that I will never see A new Bible Bee shirt on me. Oh, I am glad I won't be sad Because I left BB For another 8 years but only for me Is that thought true. The others, older, are now blue Because they never Ever ever Compete again. *~Hannah W.*

That was not me that was the other Hannah :). I am Hannah W and I have a lot less time than that and I CANNOT write poetry :P!!!!!!

Okay, I'll fix it. :)

Thanks :P :) :P :)

I thought mine was doggerel-ish.

Perhaps, but not in meter at least. Your perfect matching of syllables was superb!

I thought mine was doggerel-ish.

I thought yours was great! But I guess you'd be a better judge of that than me because I really know nothing about poems.

@Emily and SBG: Thank you; I attempted to the best of my ability to imitate a favorite poet of mine (namely Dr. Seuss), however, "You will I miss" strikes me as "Misordering of words to force correct meter", but ELLIE asked for something more characteristic of myself than the haiku, and that was the best I could come up with "on the fly".

True… It's not totally misordered though, that it sounds weird. You could always say "Bible Bee, I will miss you, But I could almost shout wahoo" instead. JK!
The thing that drives me nuts is when people add 'does' to everything to have enough syllables.

Seuss. Yes, perhaps the misordering of words was forced, but not so much that it seemed awkward. If it was forced, you did well to make it seem not so.

I love Bible Bee
It's fun to be
A Primary
In the Bible Bee.

Speaking of Dr. Seuss, here are some of my favorite poems by him:

This one I think
Is called a Yink.
He likes to wink,
He likes to drink.
The thing he likes to drink is ink.
The ink he likes to drink is pink.
Sooo… if you have a lot of ink,
then you should get a Yink, I think.

Bump!
Bump!
Did you ever ride a Wump?
We have a Wump with just one hump.
But we know a man called Mr. Gump.
Mr. Gump has a seven hump Wump.
Sooo… if you like to go Bump! Bump!
Just jump on the hump of the Wump of Gump.

(I realized on that one that it should be "Just jump on A hump…" not "Just jump on THE hump." :P)

Isn't rhyming "Bee" with "be" sort of like cheating?

Is that from "One Fish, Two Fish"?

"Why are they sad or mad or glad?
I do not know, go ask your dad."

I might write another Bible Bee on the inspiration of the word "Humph" and dedicate it to you.

I guess it's sort of like cheating…

Yes, it is.

Why would you?

"From there to here, from here to there, funny things are everywhere!

Brush! Brush!
Comb! Comb!
Blue hair is fun to brush and comb.
And girls who like to brush and comb
Should have a pet like this at home."

The intuitive mental leaps that my brain made from "Hump" to "Humph" and from "Humph" to my opinion of the Bible Bee test for the 2013 locals are a little hard to explain.

Oh. Lol

In reply to Margaret Eddy

Ohh, I put up this whole fuss and she still won't delete it! xP lol

Please notice that none of us boast on the excellence of our poems. Besides… I'm to busy to delete it. :P

:D ^I really don't care, it's just weird that it's on the first page xP^

And so the Bee continues changing;
Format of tests so widely ranging,
They even have a new website,
Of orange and yellow, grey and white.
You act surprised! You voice dismay!
And so did I just yesterday.
Why has it not occurred to us,
That they might do it for the fuss?
So I propose this April first,
We give them all the very worst,
We will not cease to benefact,
We'll outsmart them: we won't react.

Haha! Love it Margaret!!! Thanks so much! It really made me smile! :))
We can look at the bright side!

Thank you; yes. The bright side being:
If one can conspiracy theorize something and make it into a Dr. Seuss poem simultaneously, it can't be the worst case scenario.

After looking at my score I promptly forgot
I’ll just do better next time, anyway it was fun
What is the point of remembering my rank I thought
“I’ll learn Greek! Memorize the book!” my brain spun
I will excel next year my shirt is red
The Bible Bee people asked and implore
Then my heart sunk like lead
“What was your rank? What was your score?”
“It wasn't important to me at the time” I said

So that is why, I don’t know my score.
When asked I wish I could go through the floor.

^(This poem is in jest. However, it is true that I don’t remember my score from past Bible Bee years. :/)^

Lol! I don't remember my scores either - just how close I was to qualifying and my Orals score from last year. :P

Now I can truly say this because I am too old. I may have to make a new and improved version that includes some more things.

And now at last I'll start behaving, Because they ask for no more waving. No more will I succumb to strokes, When all the staff tell us their "jokes". And never more will I ask "Why?" They torture us with the "Apply". With no more Studies to critique, My future life looks somewhat bleak. Oh Bible Bee: you will I miss, But, oh the joy, and oh the bliss. *~Margaret Eddy*

Do they make you wave your hands in the air if you volunteer to "help" at Nationals?
Also, I was considering, if they (dare to) send out a survey, putting my suggestions (for lack of a better word) into Dr. Seuss like verse. Anyone have any suggestions for things I should address?

EDIT: On second thought, I think I will do the survey in a relatively ordinary way. I may make some minor suggestions (like everyone gets the same passages), but I think I have been a little too outspoken in the past about the Bible Bee's short comings.

Cost, maybe? That's what I want to put in when we fill it out.

Since my last year with BB was 2011, I am kind of out of the loop, but what is this I hear about people getting different verses at prelims? ? I don't believe that was the case in locals or nationals 2009-2011 (the years I competed at nationals).

This year, contestants went to orals together, in groups of 8-12. Their families could be there if they wished, and there was a stage and mic the contestant had to recite into. Each contestant was given 10 passages in 7 minutes. And they gave contestants different verses so they wouldn't know what to expect. It was neat!

Kinda. I don't think it's completely fair though.