Grammar

English is crazy! ^Somebody disprove that, I dare you!^ This is the place for those -wierd- -weerd- WEIRD grammatical moments.

So, my cousin and I got into a rather strange conversation when we were out this afternoon about plurals. Basically, it started out by me commenting on a roadwork sign that said something like "Road Work: 1 miles." Of course, in normal conversation, that would be bad grammar. Then he asked how it would work if you have a number like 1.1. Would it be 1.1 mile or 1.1 mileS?

I'm going to check my English book so I can tell him tomorrow (and so I can sleep tonight!), but I though I'd post it here in the meantime.

This one's just strange. By emphasizing a different word in this sentence, you can make it say something totally different.

I didn't say she ate the sandwich.

*I* didn't say she ate the sandwich. He said it, I didn't.
I *didn't* say she ate the sandwich. No, didn't say that at all.
I didn't *say* she ate the sandwich. I may have suggested it, but I didn't SAY it.
I didn't say *she* ate the sandwich. Noah ate the sandwich while he was waiting for his taco. She didn't have anything to do with it.
I didn't say she *ate* the sandwich. She threw it in the trash, she didn't eat it.
I didn't say she ate *the* sandwich. She didn't eat that one, it was another one.
I didn't say she ate the *sandwich.* She ate the dinosaur, not the sandwich.

So, my cousin and I got into a rather strange conversation when we were out this afternoon about plurals. Basically, it started out by me commenting on a roadwork sign that said something like "Road Work: 1 miles." Of course, in normal conversation, that would be bad grammar. Then he asked how it would work if you have a number like 1.1. Would it be 1.1 mile or 1.1 mileS? I'm going to check my English book so I can tell him tomorrow (and so I can sleep tonight!), but I though I'd post it here in the meantime.

Things you're counting are always plural unless there is only one - exactly 1. (That's what I've been taught.)

^Someone posted this on my mom's FB page…^

WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS SO HARD TO LEARN

The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bush.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does certain things when the does are present.

So, my cousin and I got into a rather strange conversation when we were out this afternoon about plurals. Basically, it started out by me commenting on a roadwork sign that said something like "Road Work: 1 miles." Of course, in normal conversation, that would be bad grammar. Then he asked how it would work if you have a number like 1.1. Would it be 1.1 mile or 1.1 mileS? I'm going to check my English book so I can tell him tomorrow (and so I can sleep tonight!), but I though I'd post it here in the meantime.

Things you're counting are always plural unless there is only one - _exactly_ 1. (That's what I've been taught.)

Hahaha! That's great. xD

So, my cousin and I got into a rather strange conversation when we were out this afternoon about plurals. Basically, it started out by me commenting on a roadwork sign that said something like "Road Work: 1 miles." Of course, in normal conversation, that would be bad grammar. Then he asked how it would work if you have a number like 1.1. Would it be 1.1 mile or 1.1 mileS? I'm going to check my English book so I can tell him tomorrow (and so I can sleep tonight!), but I though I'd post it here in the meantime.

Things you're counting are always plural unless there is only one - _exactly_ 1. (That's what I've been taught.)

That's what we figured… I told him that Wednesday night and everyone agreed. Thanks!

@Emily - love the poem!! Have you seen "English is Crazy?" It's a short video about pretty much the same thing.

Here's a little article I've found very helpful: (It's not all about grammar, but whatever.)

HOW TO WRITE GOOD
by Frank L. Visco

My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules:

Avoid alliteration. Always.
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
Avoid cliches like the plague. (They’re old hat.)
Employ the vernacular.
Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
Contractions aren’t necessary.
Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
One should never generalize.
Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.”
Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
Don’t be redundant; don’t use more words than necessary; it’s highly superfluous.
[ Yeah, so there was a fourteenth one, it really isn't that bad, but I might as well remove it anyway. ]
Be more or less specific.
Understatement is always best.
Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
One word sentences? Eliminate.
Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
The passive voice is to be avoided.
Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
Who needs rhetorical questions?

Double negatives ain't never grammatically correct.

It's very amusing and clever, but how is it helpful? xP

Fui sarcastico. :)

xD

I want to do a video with those. I have another list with a few more, too.

Has anyone seen "Word Crimes"?

(It may have advertisements.)

no.

You may or may not like it.

As I am not permitted to use YouTube, would it be possible for you to tell a little about the video here?

i don't have no Problem's with gramer. :P

LOL!

i don't have no Problem's with gramer. :P

I ain't got no problem's eithr!! :D

i don't have no Problem's with gramer. :P

I ain't got no problem's eithr!! :D

major facedesk to both comments xP

^Someone posted this on my mom's FB page...^ WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS SO HARD TO LEARN The bandage was wound around the wound. The farm was used to produce produce. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse. We must polish the Polish furniture. He could lead if he would get the lead out. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum. When shot at, the dove dove into the bush. I did not object to the object. The insurance was invalid for the invalid. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. They were too close to the door to close it. The buck does certain things when the does are present.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow. This made me actually lol! :P