MV User Battle Stats

Someone's gonna kill me for making this…
So, I was bored (now that Bible Bee's over), and I was thinking about how cool it would be if there were a battle strategy game with all the Memversers in it. Probably never going to happen, but I still had a bit of fun typing up what I think some of the users' battle stats should be. If you think that sounds like a stupid idea, or are Carissa, leave now. Otherwise…
This is what I came up with for a few of us. (No, I'm not going to include things like movement, movement type, alignment, etc.) If you guys want to make one for yourself, or another person, or redo someone I did, go right ahead. Just try not to overpower anyone (except Sam). I might even edit this post to include your addition…
Ridiculous, I know. But I get my turn at being ridiculous every once in a while, right?

Caleb: (by himself)
Hitpoints = @33@
Resistances = @Speech 60%; Tease 80%@
Attack = @Lecture@

• Type = @Speech@
• Damage = @6@
• Bonus = @Repeat@
• Description = @Caleb lectures his enemy about some little-known aspect of Anglo-Saxon grammar, causing intense boredom. His lecture has a 50% chance of continuing into the next turn.@
  Ability = @Touché@
• Description = @When an adjacent enemy uses a tease attack against Caleb or another unit, Caleb has a 30% chance of returning half of the damage to that enemy.@

Carissa: (by Caleb)
Hitpoints = @26@
Resistances = @Impact 70%; Tease -10%@
Attack = @Scream@

• Type = @Noise@
• Damage = @9@
• Description = @Carissa loudly screams the name of an enemy, depleting its life force.@
  Defense = @Facedesk@
• Type = @Impact@
• Damage = @2@
• Bonus = @Area damage@
• Description = @When attacked, Carissa bangs her head on a desk, or another convenient object. While not effective against a single enemy, the impact tremors caused by this defense deal out area damage against all adjacent enemies.@

Cookie Monster: (The boss at the end of the "game"… Sorry. Couldn't resist the urge.) (by Caleb)
Hitpoints = @190@
Resistances = @Blade 40%; Noise 80%; Pierce 50%; Speech 60%; Tease 70%@
Attack = @Spammer@

• Type = @Tease@
• Damage = @21@
• Bonus = @Area damage@
• Description = @The Cookie Monster spams the forums, shocking and damaging all adjacent enemies.@
  Defense = @Reply@
• Type = @Tease@
• Damage = @7@
• Description = @The Cookie Monster leaves a rude and damaging reply to his enemy@'@s attack.@

Ian: (by himself, edited by Caleb)
Hitpoints = @29@
Resistances = @Blade 30%; Tease 20%; Impact 50%; Noise -30%; Speech -20%@
Attack = @Bow and arrows@

• Type = @pierce@
• Damage = @7@
• Bonus = @Poison@
• Description = @Can shoot an enemy with an arrow, with a 50% chance of being tipped with a toxin which poisons an enemy, causing them to take 20% more damage for the rest of the turn. If poisoned, there is a 50% chance that the enemy will take 20% more damage on the next turn as well.@
  Ability = @Correction@
• Description = @Can make an enemy feel guilty about attacking him or an adjacent ally and has a 20% chance of making the enemy stop attacking all together.@

Nicolas: (by Caleb)
Hitpoints = @34@
Resistances = @Speech 90%@
Attack = @Hulk Smash@

• Type = @Impact@
• Damage = @10@
• Description = @Nicolas morphs into Nicohulk, and delivers a powerful punch with his hulk-hands.@
  Defense = @Correction@
• Type = @Speech@
• Damage = @4@
• Description = @Nicolas corrects his enemy@'@s grammar, spelling, or punctuation, damaging its self-esteem.@

Noah: (by Caleb)
Hitpoints = @31@
Resistances = @Tease 90%@
Attack = @Katana@ ^[There's no way I'm putting an S on there, even though he has two.]^

• Type = @Blade@
• Damage = @6@
• Bonus = @Decapitation@
• Description = @Noah strikes with his dual katana! He has a 10% chance of decapitating his enemy, defeating it instantly. Note: Not effective against cookies.@
  Defense = @Teasing@
• Type = @Tease@
• Damage = @2@
• Description = @Noah ferociously teases his enemy, a rather traumatic experience for the brains of any attackers!@

Roy: (by himself, edited by Caleb)
Hitpoints = @30@
Resistances = @Blade 70%; Impact 50%; Noise -50%; Pierce 40%; Speech -60%@
Attack = @Explosives@

• Type = @Impact@
• Damage = @2@
• Bonus = @Knockout@
• Description = @Explosive plastic capsules that knock opponents down upon detonation, leaving them vulnerable for the rest of the turn. Their defenses are negated, and they take 20% more damage for the rest of the turn.@
  Defense = @Sovnya@
• Type = @Blade@
• Damage = @5@
• Description = @A traditional weapon used in Russia, much like the Japanese naginata, resembling a curved sword on the end of a long pole. Roy also uses this weapon to parry, which is the secret to his amazing blade, impact, and pierce resistances.@

Sam: (by Caleb)
Hitpoints = @35@
Resistances = @Tease 90%@
Attack = @Teasing@

• Type = @Tease@
• Damage = @8@
• Bonus = @Repeat@
• Description = @Sam relentlessly teases an enemy, reducing their will to live. The damage caused by his teasing has a 50% chance of being repeated on the following turn.@
  Ability = @Sponger@
• Description = @Living off of others' exasperation, it is only natural that Sam regenerates 8 hitpoints whenever an adjacent enemy is defeated.@

Postscriptum:
Go ahead. Kill me. In the event of my death, I might delete this topic…

Someone's gonna kill me for making this… So, I was bored (now that Bible Bee's over), and I was thinking about how cool it would be if there were a battle strategy game with all the Memversers in it. Probably never going to happen, but I still had a bit of fun typing up what I think some of the users' battle stats should be. If you think that sounds like a stupid idea, or are Carissa, leave now. Otherwise… This is what I came up with for a few of us. (No, I'm not going to include things like movement, movement type, alignment, &c.) If you guys want to make one for yourself, or another person, or redo someone I did, go right ahead. Just try not to overpower anyone (except Sam). I might even edit this post to include your addition… Ridiculous, I know. But I get my turn at being ridiculous every once in a while, right? *Caleb:* (by himself) Hitpoints = @33@ Resistances = @Speech 60%; Tease 80%@ Attack = @Lecture@ Type = @Speech@ Damage = @6@ Bonus = @Repeat@ Description = @Caleb lectures his enemy about some little-known aspect of Anglo-Saxon grammar, causing intense boredom. His lecture has a 50% chance of continuing into the next turn.@ Ability = @Touché@ Description = @When an adjacent enemy uses a tease attack against Caleb or another unit, Caleb has a 20% chance of returning half of the damage to that enemy.@ *Carissa:* (by Caleb) Hitpoints = @26@ Resistances = @Impact 70%; Tease -10%@ Attack = @Scream@ Type = @Noise@ Damage = @10@ Description = @Carissa loudly screams the name of an enemy, depleting its life force.@ Defense = @Facedesk@ Type = @Impact@ Damage = @2@ Bonus = @Area damage@ Description = @When attacked, Carissa bangs her head on a desk, or another convenient object. While not effective against a single enemy, the impact tremors caused by this defense deal out area damage against all adjacent enemies.@ *Cookie Monster:* (The boss at the end of the "game"… Sorry. Couldn't resist the urge.) (by Caleb) Hitpoints = @190@ Resistances = @Blade 40%; Noise 80%; Pierce 50%; Speech 60%; Tease 70%@ Attack = @Spammer@ Type = @Tease@ Damage = @21@ Bonus = @Area damage@ Description = @The Cookie Monster spams the forums, shocking and damaging all adjacent enemies.@ Defense = @Reply@ Type = @Tease@ Damage = @7@ Description = @The Cookie Monster leaves a rude and damaging reply to his enemy@'@s attack.@ *Nicolas:* (by Caleb) Hitpoints = @33@ Resistances = @Speech 90%@ Attack = @Hulk Smash@ Type = @Impact@ Damage = @10@ Description = @Nicolas morphs into Nicohulk, and delivers a powerful punch with his hulk-hands.@ Defense = @Correction@ Type = @Speech@ Damage = @3@ Description = @Nicolas corrects his enemy@'@s grammar, spelling, or punctuation, damaging its self-esteem.@ *Sam:* (by Caleb) Hitpoints = @35@ Resistances = @Tease 90%@ Attack = @Teasing@ Type = @Tease@ Damage = @8@ Bonus = @Repeat@ Description = @Sam relentlessly teases an enemy, reducing their will to live. The damage caused by his teasing has a 50% chance of being repeated on the following turn.@ Ability = @Sponger@ Description = @Living off of others' exasperation, it is only natural that Sam regenerates 8 hitpoints whenever an adjacent enemy is defeated.@ Postscriptum: Go ahead. Kill me. In the event of my death, I might delete this topic...

Mine could be a copy and paste of Sam's, with some minor differences! Please do us or Abigail next, the solo of christo!

I'll consider it, as soon as you edit your post and take out the quote. :P

THIS NEEDS TO BE A GAME!

SERIOUSLY?! You quoted all that?

Wouldn't it be cool? Far above my level of skill, though. The best I could do would be to code a Wesnoth faction…

#Awesomeness

Wouldn't it be cool? Far above my level of skill, though. The best I could do would be to code a Wesnoth faction...

We should make it a tabletop game. That'd be SO fun! :D

That's a even better idea… the people who go could play it at nationals! :)

*THIS NEEDS TO BE A GAME!*

That would be really cool! Battle for MV Wesnoth. I'm just a little confused with the two damages…. is one damage inflicted and the other the health bar?

This is cool! :)

The the hitpoints entry is the "health bar". I have 33 health, for example. (I think 30 is probably an average amount.) The damage listed under "Attack" is the damage done on the player's turn, when that player attacks another. The damage listed under "Defense" is the damage done to an attacker on the attacker's turn.
Basically, all units either have a defense, which deals a small amount of damage against an attacker, or an ability, which could be pretty much anything.

New entry:
Noah: (by Caleb)
Hitpoints = @31@
Resistances = @Tease 90%@
Attack = @Katana@ ^[There's no way I'm putting an S on there, even though he has two.]^

• Type = @Blade@
• Damage = @6@
• Bonus = @Decapitation@
• Description = @Noah strikes with his dual katana! He has a 10% chance of decapitating his enemy, defeating it instantly. Note: Not effective against cookies.@
  Defense = @Evil Laugh@
• Type = @Tease@
• Damage = @2@
• Description = @Noah laughs villainously, a rather traumatic experience for the brains of any attackers!@

How about me?

How about me?

I'll might get to you eventually, unless you make your own! (Which you can of course do, by the way. I can make any necessary edits and then put it in the original post.)

How about me?

Wow. I like. A lot. But my Hulk Smash should have more damage than that! :P (And I love the grammar correction/damaging self-esteem thing xP)

Feel free to edit. (I hope I'm not over powering myself)

Roy: (by himself)
Hitpoints = 28
Resistances = Blade 60% Lectures, screams, and corrections -50%

Attack = explosives
Type = ranged
Damage = 2
Bonus = Extra 10 damage if shrapnel is enabled by standing next to scrap metal.
Description = Explosive plastic capsules that knock opponents down upon detonation (refreshes my mind and interrupts -boring- grammar lessons).

Defense = Sovnya
Type = Blade/pierce
Damage = 5 to 10
Bonus = Can be used to parry the blows of most melee weapons. Negating up to 6(?) of the damage points inflicted by the opponents offensive.
Description = a traditional weapon used in Russia, much like the Japanese naginata, resembling a curved sword on the end of a long pole.

Lizzy
Hitpoints: @30@
Resistances: @???@
Attack: @Crickets@

• Type: @Noise, Impact???@
• Damage: @5@
• Bonus: @Area damage@
• Description: @lizzy releases part of her infinite supply of crickets, which eat up the terrain and cause hearing loss through their incessant chirping.@

I'll let someone else figure out the defense. :-)

"Loki Line Barrage"!

"Loki Line Barrage"!

Okay? is confused

"Loki Line Barrage"!

Okay? *is confused*

She loves to use Loki lines from the Avengers!

Very cool, Roy! I'm proposing we make a few changes, but operationally, it's still mostly the same. Instead of giving your sovnya a parry bonus, which was pretty much exactly like extra resistance, I changed your resistances, still ascribing this to your sovnya.

Roy: (by himself, edited by Caleb)
Hitpoints = @28@
Resistances = @Blade 70%; Impact 50%; Noise -50%; Pierce 40%; Speech -60%@
Attack = @Explosives@

• Type = @Impact@
• Damage = @2@
• Bonus = @Knockout@
• Description = @Explosive plastic capsules that knock opponents down upon detonation, leaving them vulnerable for the rest of the turn. Their defenses are negated, and they take 20% more damage for the rest of the turn.@
  Defense = @Sovnya@
• Type = @Blade@
• Damage = @5@
• Description = @A traditional weapon used in Russia, much like the Japanese naginata, resembling a curved sword on the end of a long pole. Roy also uses this weapon to parry, which is the secret to his amazing blade, impact, and pierce resistances.@

Do you like the Knockout bonus? (I'm not sure someone would make a "scrap metal" tile or overlay if they actually did make a board game. Though 'twould be cool.) You said your explosives knock opponents down, and given that they only inflict 2 damage, I thought the Knockout would make this attack much more powerful.
I'm not putting this in the original post just yet, I'll wait to see if you have any other ideas, or simply don't like my edits. :P By the way, are you sure you don't want more hitpoints, at least 30, or something?

@Deadpool: Ɑɫɹʌɪ̯t, changed!

aye, thanks!

Okay, the crickets idea is awesome. I had actually started working on one for Lizzy, too, and I couldn't figure out what defense she should have either. How about if we combine yours and mine, my attack for offense, and yours for defense? (I would use yours for offense, but forgive me - I simply can't see falling through an air vent being a defense.)
By the way, 5 damage plus the area bonus is probably a bit overpowered… so I reduced it to three. Have I permission to add this entry to the original post? Thanks!

Lizzy: (By Sarah F. and Caleb)
Hitpoints = @29@
Resistances = @Impact 60%; Noise 20%@
Attack = @UnconVENTional Drop@

• Type = @Impact@
• Damage = @6@
• Bonus = @Landing@
• Description = @lizzy makes a dramatic entrance - falling upon her enemies. After the attack, she falls off her victim onto any free adjacent space.@
  Defense = @Crickets@
• Type = @Noise@
• Damage = @3@
• Bonus = @Area damage@
• Description = @When attacked, part of Lizzy's infinite supply of crickets is released, causing hearing loss to adjacent enemies through their incessant chirping.@

I like it! and about the hitpoints… I was thinking that a high defense damage like 10 should be countered having by fewer hitpoints. but since that got changed I'll add a few more hitpoints. :D

Roy: (by himself, edited by Caleb)
Hitpoints = 30
Resistances = Blade 70%; Impact 50%; Noise -50%; Pierce 40%; Speech -60%
Attack = Explosives

• Type = Impact
• Damage = 2
• Bonus = Knockout
• Description = Explosive plastic capsules that knock opponents down upon detonation, leaving them vulnerable for the rest of the turn. Their defenses are negated, and they take 20% more damage for the rest of the turn.
  Defense = Sovnya
• Type = Blade
• Damage = 5
• Description = A traditional weapon used in Russia, much like the Japanese naginata, resembling a curved sword on the end of a long pole. Roy also uses this weapon to parry, which is the secret to his amazing blade, impact, and pierce resistances.

I decided to make my own, but I think it is far from perfect. :P If you want to change anything feel free, although there are a couple things I would like to keep. :)

Ian:
Hitpoints = 29
Resistances= Blade 30%; Tease 20%; Impact 50%; Noise -30%; Speech -20%
Attack= Bow and arrows
Type= Pierce/Distance?
Damage= 7
Bonus= Poison (I'm assuming that counts. Please correct me if I am wrong. :))
Description= Can shoot any enemy up 100 yards away with an arrow with a 50% chance of being tipped with poison which paralyzes and which has a 50% chance of its effects lasting through the next turn.
Defense= Correction
Type= Speech
Damage= 2
Description= Can make an enemy feel guilty about attacking him or an ally and has a 50% chance of making the enemy stop attacking all together.

Cool! (Sorry I didn't get to this earlier, I've been slightly busy…) Here are my thoughts:

Ian: (by himself, edited by Caleb)
Hitpoints = @29@
Resistances = @Blade 30%; Tease 20%; Impact 50%; Noise -30%; Speech -20%@
Attack = @Bow and arrows@

• Type = @pierce@
• Damage = @7@
• Bonus = @Poison@
• Description = @Can shoot an enemy with an arrow, with a 50% chance of being tipped with a toxin which poisons an enemy, causing them to take 20% more damage for the rest of the turn. If poisoned, there is a 50% chance that the enemy will take 20% more damage on the next turn as well.@
  Ability = @Correction@
• Description = @Can make an enemy feel guilty about attacking him or an adjacent ally and has a 20% chance of making the enemy stop attacking all together.@

For the poison bonus, you can see that I've elaborated on it, as "paralyze" could mean many things. :) As far as the 100 yard range goes, I'm not sure we would implement "yards" into a board / computer game.
The correction defense is very cool, but equally overpowered, I think. If one in every two attacks launched against someone on your team anywhere on the board failed, and the unfortunate attacker received two damage… Well, hopefully I don't even need to explain how that's too powerful.
So I changed it to an ability, which does no damage. And it only works with adjacent allies, and only one in five of these attacks will be canceled. Umm… yeah. Big changes. But it's still very powerful, and your main attack is already very powerful.
Does that work? Are there any changes you think should be made to the changes? :P

Cool! (Sorry I didn't get to this earlier, I've been slightly busy...) Here are my thoughts: *Ian:* (by himself, edited by Caleb) Hitpoints = @29@ Resistances = @Blade 30%; Tease 20%; Impact 50%; Noise -30%; Speech -20%@ Attack = @Bow and arrows@ - Type = @pierce@ - Damage = @7@ - Bonus = @Poison@ - Description = @Can shoot an enemy with an arrow, with a 50% chance of being tipped with a toxin which poisons an enemy, causing them to take 20% more damage for the rest of the turn. If poisoned, there is a 50% chance that the enemy will take 20% more damage on the next turn as well.@ Ability = @Correction@ - Description = @Can make an enemy feel guilty about attacking him or an adjacent ally and has a 20% chance of making the enemy stop attacking all together.@ For the poison bonus, you can see that I've elaborated on it, as "paralyze" could mean many things. :) As far as the 100 yard range goes, I'm not sure we would implement "yards" into a board / computer game. The correction defense is very cool, but equally overpowered, I think. If one in every two attacks launched against someone on your team anywhere on the board failed, _and_ the unfortunate attacker received two damage... Well, hopefully I don't even need to explain how that's too powerful. So I changed it to an ability, which does no damage. And it only works with _adjacent_ allies, and only one in five of these attacks will be canceled. Umm... yeah. Big changes. But it's still very powerful, and your main attack is _already_ very powerful. Does that work? Are there any changes you think should be made to the changes? :P

That's great! And thanks for pointing out the overpowering part. I tried not to make it OP, but it can be hard. :P

Okay, I just put it in the original post!

"Loki Line Barrage"!

Okay? *is confused*

She loves to use Loki lines from the Avengers!

That's an understatement!
I love a good movie line! Whether it be from Avengers, Star Wars, Frozen, or The Widow's Might. xD

Wow. Wow. Wow! Facedesk Niceeee. :P