Raising Godly Children

Hi, all. I am new here. I am a father of 3 very young children and I just want to say how amazed I am at the godliness of the children here in this community. It is my great desire that when my children are your age that they would love the Lord and the Word as much as you all do. I wonder if you children would be willing to share with me what your parents did to help you become the godly young people you are today? Of course, any parents in this community can chime in too. ;)

Thanks so much!

Memorizing has definitely helped. I think the fundamental aspect my parents did was centering everything on God. Every morning, we read a chapter of Psalms and Proverbs. Our school curriculum is centered around Christianity, and not the knowledge of the world (like Greek philosophy). In addition, their constant example has always encouraged us in our walk with God. Also, it is important, that as children, we recognize the father as the authority as the house. When children are let to do whatever they want, problems always arise.

Hope that helps!

Well, one thing my parents did is they protected me from bad influences. They homeschool me rather than send me to school.
They drove the foolishness out me through discipline.
And most importantly, they have, and still are, bringing me up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

I'm a teenage girl, and I would say one of the most important first steps to raising your children in righteousness is homeschooling your children.

It's very important to keep your children from bad influences (Proverbs 13:20). This is much, much harder if your child is in public school. They'll be spending most of their time away from you and with people who, more likely than not, do not share your Biblical worldview - both students and teachers - and are living in worldliness.

My parents have homeschooled me my entire life, so I don't know first-hand what public schools are like, but I think I've seen enough to know that they're not the best places for young, impressionable children to spend tons of time.

I'm not saying that everyone who goes to public school will end up unchristian, but it just seems to me, from all indications, that public schooling your kids is a bad idea.

Of course, homeschooling isn't good unless you raise your kids in a godly way (God's Maiden of Virtue had some great suggestions above). Also, even if you keep your kids out of public schools, they can still be influenced by worldliness - even in church. If your local church has a youth group that spends more time playing T-rated video games than studying God's Word - be careful. No, you shouldn't move your family out to an Amish community, but you should still be very cautious about what they're exposed to.

Sadly, I'm not as far on my journey of faith as some of the other young adults here, but so far, my parents raised me well enough to guide me to Christ and know His commands. I hope these suggestions are true and helpful to you.

Even when growing up through a Christian home, sometimes you can be veer off the path. So many things in this world can make children to day go off of the path the God has chosen for them. But when you get children to be well rounded in the word of God, and less away from the materialistic world the children can grow up well.

What it really takes is for the parents to be an example to their children. When they are living godly lives as well, they can be projecting it onto their children (rather then a "Do as I say not as I do" mentality as the world so much wants us to live).

The children today have advantages that I did not have when I was growing up (Bible Bee, HINT, HINT!, that would have kept me on the path. But due to certain things examples in my life, I had veered off of the path. But as a good prodigal I returned to the loving arms of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

To sum all this up, I would suggest it would take loving godly parents who help plant their child in the word, so that the devil might not pull them out of the ground that they had laid. I guess you can say there are three D's that can help children grow more in the Lord.

Discipline
Discipleship
Dedication

Well I guess I should end it all here before I start writing a novel! God bless

I am a college student (well actually I just graduated a week ago so I guess that's not actually true anymore!) and so I find myself in the interesting position of feeling a little caught between generations. I am beginning to understand and empathize far more with my parents and their decisions and role in my life, but I'm not far removed from my childhood either, so this is an interesting topic to me.

I also have been impressed with the many teenagers and younger kids on here, Johnny. Many of them seem to have a mature relationship and faith that is cool to see!
I think that what I have learned in my life so far is that it is very important to share your personal walk with Christ with your kids. As in, telling them new and fresh things that God has taught you or ways in which he has been faithful or sharing times in the Word with them. My parents did not do that until I was much older (and then only rarely) and I always wished they had done more of that. Lives actually growing and changing because of their relationship with God is what ultimately caused me to trust in God and then to desire to grow in him.
Also, not that I want to be obnoxious and disagree with other people, but I think homeschooling is a great and valid option and a good priority, but just not the top one. I was homeschooled my entire life until college and I still think it is often the best way to go and the most consistently in line with Scriptural principals, but I have also seen many people become very very wrapped up in their schooling choice to the exclusion of other considerations. I believe that God calls us to many different paths and that it is certainly possible to raise strong, godly children who have navigated the secular scene of a public high school. It may make your job harder at home and you would have to be very intentional, but the opportunities for ministry in that secular scene are huge and no age is too young (if they are strong in the faith) to being our life's work of reaching the world. We just need to remember to listen to the Spirit and the direction that he gives to us.
Anyway, sorry for that lengthy epistle! You'd think college would've taught me to make my points more quickly, but no such luck :)

Great responses by everyone! This is good stuff. Keep it coming. I hope others in this community will see this post and be willing to share their thoughts and experience.

Thanks, everyone!

"… these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up." Deuteronomy 6:6-7

My parents were and are constantly teaching my younger brother and me about God and His Word. We also have family devotions which is another very good thing to do. Also, I have been homeschooled from the beginning, which is a HUGE blessing.

The most important thing my parents have done for me and my siblings is to pray for us. Not that the other things people have mentioned are not important, but without abundant prayer, it won't be enough. Even the best-raised children will wander away without God's help to keep them on the straight and narrow.

One really big thing is getting a pattern of daily family devotions. Whether it's morning, evening, or whenever, I think it is very important that your children know that Christianity isn't just a church thing for their parents. It shows your love for and devotion to the Scriptures and your desire to learn more about God and his attributes, what He has done in the past, what he will do in the future. I know it helped for me, and I respect my dad a lot because he has endeavored to keep a family devotion time, even though it's hard with all of us 11 kids growing up and getting busier and busier.
Other people mentioned home-schooling. That's a huge thing that has helped me be 'in the world, but not of it'.
Establish a good work ethic in your kids with home chores. Work before play. It's helped me a lot.
Disciplining. I cring a little because I needed it a lot. But I'm better because my parents did it. Hebrews 12:11
Ted Tripp has a series that's really great on child-rearing. Check it out if you haven't heard of it already.

I agree with all things the other have said here…homsechooling, discipline, working before play, family devotions, etc.

We recently started this – in the morning, before my siblings and I started on our chores, my mom shared with us something from the Proverbs…a lesson for the day….that has been really helpful to me! She just found a verse from the Proverbs and encouraged and challenged us with that verse.

Another thing…my dad meets with each of us children for about 15-20 minutes about every month. He asks how our walk with the Lord is, what we are learning in the Word, things he says in us that we need to be working on, encouragement to us, and many other things. I appreciate all the teaching and training my parents have given me!

Also, Bible memory is great…and you'll see how much young children can do! A few weeks ago, my family and I memorized Psalm 150 for our family Bible time. We quoted that psalm all the time, and now my little 2 year old sister can say almost the whole thing! They pick up faster on things than we think =)

How old are you children? If you don't mind my asking…

Thanks for sharing, Bethany.

My children are 7, 5, and 3.

Agreed, Miss Pentimone: homsechooling, discipline, working before play, family devotions, etc. These are some of the key ingredients to a healthy, godly home.

I would also add:

1. No matter how crazy this sounds: GET RID OF TV RECEPTION. (Not the TV itself, as you'll still need that for redeeming VHS tapes or DVD's you may want to watch.) There is nothing remotely redemptive on TV or cable anymore, at least for children! (There are some educational food/cooking networks and home improvement shows I've heard about, but they don't seem to be worth the expense that cable requires each month.)

2. Regular, active parental involvement in, and supervision of, all media exposure in the home (as well as outside the home, as best as can be accomplished.) And setting firm limits to any exposure, teaching balance and moderation.

   – This includes previewing videos and movies before children view them, assessing them for worldly/fleshly influences, subversive themes, negative attitudinal influences, age-level appropriateness, and secular humanistic philosophies.

   – This also means sitting with them during most video or movie watching, providing ongoing commentary, for all age levels, regarding any values presented that run contrary to God's Word and your own established family principles. (For instance, when we watch Little House on the Prairie, I am constantly making comments if Laura is being disrespectful to adults or if the Walnut Grove reverend is "preaching" one of his fluffy, wishy-washy, feel-good "sermons," that are usually absent of any Scripture.)

   – If you choose to watch Christian or family or educational videos/movies with your children, I highly recommend picking a theme for each non-Sabbath night of the week, like Martyrs' Monday, Teaching Tuesday, etc., and watching videos addressing that theme. (For instance, Voice of the Martyrs has animated videos that tell the story of men and women who were either martyred and/or dedicated their lives in service to God, and we will watch one of those from time to time on Martyrs' Mondays, or we'll read a story or two from Foxe's Book of Martyrs or a missionary's biography.)

   – Along the same lines as videos & movies are books. (Yes, there are some scratching their heads over this, but videos and movies tend to use books as their sources, also known as screenplays). Thus, we also make sure to preview and approve and limit the amount of time spent reading, as well as the content, based on age level and maturity.

   – As for internet access, I recommend finding a good Christian web filter to install on all computers that controls allotted time limits and monitors all internet activties, including any attempts to visit blocked sites, other sites visited, search engine content, and pages/images viewed.

   – For music or story CD's, cassettes, or downloads, no CD's or cassettes are allowed into our home without my wife or I previewing them (unless they're from an already-reputable Christian source), and I do any downloads that my kids request (which only my oldest ones are allowed to request).

   – Regarding styles/genres of music, I believe that Scripture leaves that up to parental discretion; so depending on our children's ages, we introduce them to various styles of Christian music according to their maturity and profession of faith. We also listen to local Christian radio stations, and provide ongoing critiques of music that sounds theologically questionable, as well as that which is sound doctrinally.

   – In regard to video games (I can already hear the boos and hisses from many MemVersers as they read this), I agree that they are total time-wasters, but only if not used redemptively. We dedicate only one portion of one day per week (and it tends to be at a time we end up using for hospitality with other families, and don't even have the video games accessed that week), and we only allow video games in the home that are both appropriate and encourage team cooperation and lessons in winning, losing, and good sportsmanship. (For example, the Wii has terrific, family-based sporting games, like bowling, fencing, baseball, golf, frisbee, tennis, water-skiing, etc., that we use as excellent opportunities to teach our kids how to take turns, cooperate as a team, encourage others in their performance, cheer others when they win, train modesty & humility when one wins, and learn the valuable lessons of losing (which will tend to happen more than winning in this life).

3. We have found that having rich hymns and Christian songs playing around the house while our kids grow up has helped them develop a love and appreciation for appropriate music, as well as something to do that helps them get through their chores more joyfully.

(I have learned that providing ongoing commentary and critiques of all of these forms of media really help our children in developing strong discernment between the good and evil, right and wrong, conservative and liberal, the heretical, erroenous, and orthodox, that is constantly present in all media outlets. And I personally believe that sheltering our children completely from these sources, while well-intentioned, is only making them very undiscerning when those things creep into areas, like local churches, homeschool co-ops, and even trusted homeschool conventions, websites & blogs. I think as children get older, we need to, at our pace and through our filter, introduce them to the world to whom we've been called to preach the gospel, even many of the world's deceptive philosophies and humanistic influences. I emphasize, though, that we as parents MUST be very active in this process for it to be done right.)

1. Unfortunately, I witness too much passive parenting, particularly by dads, and it has long-term damaging effects on children as they become adults. So, #4, Dads, BE MORE INVOLVED WITH YOUR CHILDREN. More than just asking about their day or what they learned in school. Play with them! Tickle them! Wrestle with them! Read with them, using funny sounds and voices. Eat with them. Correct them. Express your opinions to them. Let them express their thoughts and opinions to you. Hang out with them. Love on them! Compete on MemVerse with them! (The list goes on and on.) My Dad did it with me, and I can't imagine not being around my kids. (Although Beloved Wretched Woman says it's because I'm still a Big Kid myself. Hmmm? Nah!)

I could go on and on with more points, and probably will as others respond more, but these are a few things we do to help develop our children into well-rounded and grounded Christian young adults.

@Mr. Alexander – Excellent points! Yes, we do not watch TV and that has been very helpful as that can be a waste of time. We don't do video games either. My parents allow us to have about 30 minutes of personal time on the computer (writing a few e-mails, writing a blog post, etc.), and they do allow us time for if we are writing a paper for school or doing Memverse, etc.

The computer is definitely something you can waste time on, that's for sure!

Most homeschool families don't do video games, and I respect them for it. I have found them to be a great help in working with our kids on "winning & losing" issues that will naturally arise, as well as getting along with someone who may have inferior skills.

Board games also allow for the same opportunities, and we have quite a few of those, too.

I just wanted to say "thanks" again for all the great replies to my post. I will definitely take it to heart. God bless you all.