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I can see why you could see it as 'a leap of faith' to stay home and be submissive to my parents. Here's the thing, the Bible dosen't say when a child should leave the home. It just doesn't. Nor does it say what the age of a 'child' is. But we know that 13 is the age that the Jews proclaim a child "coming of age"… and the age many cultures have their children marry. In our country the government has set up 18 as the age of an adult - and I think that's wise because I wouldn't call anyone younger than that an adult. I believe that parents are in our lives when we are child to train us up what is right and wrong, but when we are older we look to them for wisdom - but we don't have to obey them! We honor our parents. According to the government, and (I believe) God I am free to make my own decision - and the fact that my parents don't approve merely calls for a lot more concidering, and prayer (which I have done, and continue to do).
I wish very badly that my parents would support me in my decision, but the have decided not to. And I truly believe this is what God wants me to do. So as I continue to prepare to leave I also pray that God will soften my parents hearts to let me go with a good will.
I believe that if God blesses me with children I am giving 18 years to raise them and teach them to love the Lord with all their heart, and how to live in the world on their own. Once they have reached 18 they are free to make their own decisions for life (hopefully) based on the things I have tought them. I will let them go do whatever God has called them to do with their lives, and I will pray for them, and give them advice as they ask for it.

Thank you for adding to the conversation. I am almost 20 now. I agree with everything you say as far as children go.
I have concider the opportunities around me… not much. I think I can be the most help to my siblings from the outside of the home, I have even asked some of them about it, and they all agree that (since I am an adult) I should be free to leave home. It's the choices in life that I want more than anything. The choice to go or stay. Right now I don't have that choice because my parents are holding me down.
I'm sure that this is what God wants me to do. It is an answer to prayer… if it doesn't work out, it is a starting point to open up a new world of opportunities.
Thank you again for your opinions.

Jumping in here by request. :)

Thanks for sharing, Sarah! I know it takes at least some measure of courage to share your heart with others and get their thoughts and advice on a decision like this. We all admire you for that, I'm sure.

To me, it sounds like an AWESOME opportunity. Malaysia is a beautiful country from what I hear, and there is a significant population of Buddhist and Islamic families that you might be able to influence for the Gospel (one of the desires you mentioned). An au pair position is, from what I know of you, right up your alley, and it would be an incredible learning and growing experience for you. On the face of it, at least, I think you should do it! :)

Some of the concerns raised from the others, though, are valid ones to be brought into consideration. The first is the 'Proverbs 31 woman" idea. I know that many conservatives believe that God calls women to stay home with their fathers until they get married. It would take too long here to fully elaborate on my opinion of this idea, but I ultimately think that it is more steeped in cultural tradition and personal preference than anything else. God calls men and women, as a whole, to different things, but physically staying at home is not a mandate under Scripture. The Proverbs 31 woman, as you said, has a measure of independence, is able to understand how and why things work around her in order to best support and love her husband. This is why I also think that college for women should not be frowned upon. There is no real reason (other than financial) to prohibit girls from wanting to learn more about the world and how to interact with ideas, same as with boys; they have different reasons for getting that knowledge, but they can both still receive it. Still, Margaret raised the valid point that you already have a ministry with your siblings. If God is calling you to that, then he will grow you in an even better way than you would have had you gone to Malaysia. If he's calling you elsewhere, then we must assume that it's the best plan for you and the one that will bring you closer to God and give you the virtues described by Solomon/King Lemuel.

Oh, and as a random side note, Solomon's Proverbs are words of wisdom; they are (for the most part) NOT mandates. Simply being a fool or an "unvirtuous wife" is not a sin of itself. Do not think that because you or someone else is not doing exactly the things described in Proverbs 31, as interpreted by others, that you are in sin. I am not trying to take away the gravity and importance of Proverbs 31, but am saying only that the passage raised in this thread is not written in the form of a mandate. If it were, all Christian women would have to wear silk and purple all the time, courtesy of verse 22.

The second major thing regards your parents. I don't want to pry, but does not receiving your parents' blessing mean that they oppose your decision entirely, or that they simply won't endorse it, and are making you make the decision yourself (and face its consequences)? If they oppose it entirely, I would take a step back and examine this a bit more. Your parents will love you whatever you do, I'm sure of that. Still, it's important to think long and hard about what straining your relationship with them might mean. As everyone else has done, I would encourage you to ask God what His plan is, and do it. If He's calling you to go, then GO, no questions asked; God will deal with your relationship with your parents. If it's stay, then you should stay, no questions asked.

There is also, of course, the question of the daughter's place under the parents. I am hard pressed to find anything in Scripture that separates sons from daughters in terms of their roles as children or as offspring. If anything, the bond is stronger from father to son than from father to daughter. In fact, when Genesis 2:24 talks about marriage, it is the MAN, not the woman, described as leaving his parents. In the end, then, I would argue that the same standards apply to men and women in this regard of authority.

At least in my view, then, Sarah, you are Biblically able to leave the home and should be considered under your father to the extent that a son is. You are an adult; in fact, I believe you are only a little younger than me, if I'm not mistaken. :) It is my view, at least, that as an adult you have at least some authority of your life and how you choose to follow what you perceive to be God's calling. Children are called to obey their parents (Ephesians 6:1); offspring to honor them (Exodus 20). Oftentimes the two overlap, but not entirely. Sometimes, you have the freedom to make your own decisions, even at the cost of harm to yourself. That's what it means to be an adult and to live your life. That does not mean you cast aside consideration of your parents' wishes. However, it also does not mean that you have to, in all things and forever, do exactly what they say. Choosing a different path is not necessarily dishonor (certainly not if you know that's what God is calling you to do).

I understand what you are going through. My sister went through much the same thing when she was considering attending college. She wanted to leave the home, to DO something apart from the home, and to serve Christ. In the end, God called her to it (she's a forensic science major). My parents weren't thrilled when they first heard it, but my sister believed that God was calling her to it and that it was good. My parents eventually came to understand that. A desire to get out, to travel, to do something, anything! are not bad. Just make sure, in a decision as big as this, that your desires are reinforced by God's will. :)

These are just a few of my thoughts. However you decide, Sarah, I'm sure that God will work it out for good, and you will continue being awesome. :)

I can see why you could see it as 'a leap of faith' to stay home and be submissive to my parents. Here's the thing, the Bible dosen't say when a child should leave the home. It just doesn't. Nor does it say what the age of a 'child' is. But we know that 13 is the age that the Jews proclaim a child "coming of age"... and the age many cultures have their children marry. In our country the government has set up 18 as the age of an adult - and I think that's wise because I wouldn't call anyone younger than that an adult. I believe that parents are in our lives when we are child to train us up what is right and wrong, but when we are older we look to them for wisdom - but we don't have to obey them! We honor our parents. According to the government, and (I believe) God I am free to make my own decision - and the fact that my parents don't approve merely calls for a lot more concidering, and prayer (which I have done, and continue to do). I wish very badly that my parents would support me in my decision, but the have decided not to. And I truly believe this is what God wants me to do. So as I continue to prepare to leave I also pray that God will soften my parents hearts to let me go with a good will. I believe that if God blesses me with children I am giving 18 years to raise them and teach them to love the Lord with all their heart, and how to live in the world on their own. Once they have reached 18 they are free to make their own decisions for life (hopefully) based on the things I have tought them. I will let them go do whatever God has called them to do with their lives, and I will pray for them, and give them advice as they ask for it.

Just to clarify, I am not saying that you should not leave home until you are married, I just think you should reconsider if you are doing it as you said without your parents' blessing. My sister Sarah, (who is older than you) had a similar opportunity to go to France this fall to be a Nanny of a homeschooling Christian family. She waited to even get excited about it until Dad gave the okay, and this took weeks of waiting for him to go from mostly "No" to "Maybe", and when he did say yes it was for next, rather than this year. In the next couple months afterward, she had someone come into her life who she is now getting to know with the prospect of marriage in mind. She probably would not have been able to develop this relationship in France, and we had only met him once at the point Dad originally started considering France, so he was not even remotely in the picture. God really guided through my Dad's cautionary approach toward this particular situation and eventual decision to wait, and there was no way that Sarah could have known that this would happen at the time. She just trusted Dad to make a good decision, and figured that if it was God's will she would know by if Dad encouraged her to do it. God can really guide through our parents even past the age of eighteen.

Overall, my actual concern is definitely not your leaving home. I am in college online at the moment, so I don't have any of those ideas that women should only stay home, wash dishes and watch children. I would go for an opportunity like this if it came my way and was obviously God's will and my parents were happy with it (or felt that it was something in which I should make the final decision). I am, however, somewhat concerned that you are leaving home without your parents being okay with it. ( I got the impression that they are pretty upset with the idea. Are they just suggesting but leaving the decision up to you? That would change my view on the matter if the latter was the case.) Rather than honoring their hopes for your decisions (honoring in the looser sense, as in respecting and appreciating even if you end up doing something else), you seem somewhat bitter with them for this, though perhaps this is only because you are only using the written word to communicate your situation with us, rather than other more roundly interpreted means.

But really, I am actually most concerned that you are simply discontent with your life the way it is, and, while this may be an indication of God's leading, it may also just be an indication of a general spirit of discontentment. Being in Malaysia may perk interest in life for a while, but especially if it is not where God wants you, you will eventually become discontent there as well. Discontentment is usually a sin. Where you are will not change who you are, and the habits you develop through your actions and thought patterns. I am also honestly concerned about your general attitude in your writing, as it conveys your attempts to fit God into your will and plans to make an impact, rather than the other way around. I asked before and I will ask you again, if God's will is for you to stay home, will you be willing and content to do that? (This is a hypothetical question, I am not saying that it is God's will for you to stay home.) I know that you have struggled with contentment with being single rather than married, and perhaps even with how God wired you when He crafted you in ages past, and I have witnessed your progress in this area. Please do not just shift this character lapse to another area, as it can deceive you concerning the progress of your spiritual life.

I would really like an honest answer on this one:

Have you been struggling with finding purpose and meaning in your life as it is?

Also,

Do you like reading?

Thanks for joining, Jimmy! Always appreciate your thoughts. :)
It is a little bit intimidating to present a life choice that many may disagree with… but I want this to be a well thought out decision, so this conversation is helping me sort out some of my own thoughts about what I believe on this.
I am really looking forward to this experience, opportunity, and job! The experience of traveling. The opportunity to witness for the Lord. And the job that will prepare, and provide for the things I wish to pursue in the future. I am very thankful to the Lord for bringing the au pair job into my life.
I really appreciated your insight and thoughts on the 'Proverbs 31 women'!
I agree with what you have said about the opinion that girls should stay at home until married. I believe that no matter where I go I will always be an example to my siblings either for good, or bad. I don't think that i leaving I am setting a bad example to them, because they understand that I an an adult, and that is the basis for making my own decisions. I don't think anyone can say that as an adult leaving home and making my own decisions (as long as they are not bad decisions) is setting a bad example, or being a bad witness to my siblings. After all, I believe that at 18 they should be looking to start their own lives, too. It isn't good for adult children to always live at home and be dependent on the parents. I understand verywell that my beliefs are not in accordance with my parents… and I wish that was not the case. It is my prayer that, perhaps, through my leaving with a struggle my parents will relize that it is important to let adult children make their own decisions, so that they can do better with my younger siblings. It's a risk I'm willing to take. Please understand that I feel very strongly on this point after much prayer and thought. I'm not the kind of girl who would normally take a strong stand against anyone (especially my parents), about anything… I'm usually very submissive. I think that is why my dad laughs in my face about my decision to go to Malaysia. He doesn’t actually believe that I have the guts to do it… and that hurts me. I am determined not to leave angry with any member of my family - but I am starting to wonder if perhaps this episode with my parents is preparing me for harder challenges and decisions I'll have to stand strong about in the future. It's just a thought. I love my parents and I am very thankful to them for raising me to love the Lord. Now, I am called to leave my father and mother to follow Christ for myself.
Thank you for the encouragement about your sister. I pray that my parents will come to the understanding that this is God's will for me, as yours did. I greatly desire my parents open advice, and approval to make my own decisions in life.

Thank you for your prayers!

I understand what you mean about leaving vs. leaving without my parents support. It is not an easy decision to make, and I don't believe that it is right for everyone to leave their parents at the age of an adult… but I believe that the adult child should have the freedom to make that decision for themselves. I think it's really cool to hear about your sister's story! God works in wonderful ways through the decisions we make. I don't believe it was either right, or wrong of your sister to decide what she did about honoring your parents in that way. What I mean is I believe that even if she had decided to go, and went God would have been with her taking care of her through it all. Even if I get through with this and get as far as the airport were things just fall apart I will accept it and know that God has a plan for me, and it doesn't mean I should give up. That kind of thing could happen with my parents complete support, too. God knows better than us, and I believe He is guiding, and working in each of our hearts to bring about His glory. Sometimes we make decisions that aren't 100% the best, but that doesn't mean they are 100% bad and God can't or won't use them. Everything is in His plan. Some He calls to serve at home, and be submissive, and others He calls to leave father and mother to follow His will. I believe I have the freedom to make this decision - whether to stay, or go. I believe God wants me to break free and go for His glory.
If it is God's will for me to stay home I would do it gladly, but I am confident that He wants me elsewhere. I think that God has provided me with this opportunity to take my mind off of the thing I want most but am not ready for - marriage. I have always wanted to travel, but thought it was impossible.

The answer is, yes. As I am right now, I am struggling to find purpose in life, but doing my best to rejoice anyway. If I was completely content I don't think God would have put it in my heart and head to leave.

Yes, I do like to read. :)

I have said all I am going to say on this subject. You know my view of the matter. I agree with you on some points, disagree on others, and am honestly not sure what the Biblical response would be on still others. I have tried to be as helpful as I know how where I could be, and me saying the same things over again just in different wording is obviously not going to get us to the perfect solution, or change your mind or your attitude toward this matter. I am not stopping because I am upset, convinced, am not concerned about your final decision, or anything except that I am busy and now need to devote my efforts, thoughts, and words to other things, including the well being of my family with Sarah, Mom, Max, and Andrew being gone for the week. I will continue to pray that you are able to come to a good decision, and that your parents will give you support in whatever is God's best for you.

Have you read "Lies Women Believe" by Nancy Leigh DeMoss before? I do not generally recommend books of the serious nonfiction sort, especially written by ladies (not because they are not fully capable of writing books, but just because the ones who actually do are such a more limited number that the best tend to be not as good or as studied as the best in the much larger pool of guys with seminary degrees and a life devoted to study). Though I do not think it has anything directly pertaining to this Malaysia trip question, I think it would help you a lot in making a decision and being convinced that it is the correct thing to do one way or another. It has a lot of biblically sound stuff in it about being single versus married, making sure we have a biblical perception of God and our relationship to Him, and what we can, and cannot, blame on our circumstances and a plethora more. I read it for the first time in December and am still processing it… I thought of you for a couple of them that I also had not realized were lies or did not realize I believed them.

Alrighty! Thank you for the discussion, and your care for me in this matter. I really do appreciate it. I hope that my decision won't hurt our friendship… but knowing you, I don't think it will. Have a good week, Margaret!

My mom actually just gave me that book a few days ago. I thought of reading it, but like you, I don't usually appreciate those kindsof books much. But since you recommend it, I will give it a closer look. :)

Alrighty! Thank you for the discussion, and your care for me in this matter. I really do appreciate it. I hope that my decision won't hurt our friendship... but knowing you, I don't think it will. Have a good week, Margaret! My mom actually just gave me that book a few days ago. I thought of reading it, but like you, I don't usually appreciate those kindsof books much. But since you recommend it, I will give it a closer look. :)

Nah, we're good. We've argued often enough; I doubt this will change anything.

Glad to hear that you will look into the book. I don't think it will give your clear direction in the decision itself, but it will at least help you make it with knowledge of what are your biblical reasons and purpose behind leaving or staying, versus the other stuff (like pride, self-serving tendencies, and beliefs that come from being steeped in the American culture that sneak their way into our decisions) that are not as biblical.

@Cory: I wasn't really sure where to put this, but thank you for the snow you sent!!! (There is actually a chance of snow here tomorrow. :) )

@Cory: I wasn't really sure where to put this, but thank you for the snow you sent!!! (There is actually a chance of snow here tomorrow. :) )

You're welcome!
@Zach- see, emailing her the snow was much cheaper than renting a semi to haul the snow :P

The semi truck idea wasn't mine ;)

The semi truck idea wasn't mine ;)

But you employed it, did you not? xD

Not that I remember, but then my brain might have gotten all fuddled up after watching the GOP presidential -debate- mudslinging.

Not that I remember, but then my brain might have gotten all fuddled up after watching the GOP presidential -debate- mudslinging.

Yeah, that got kind of out of control…. :/ What did you think of it overall thought?

We're technically not supposed to talk politics on here ( +https://www.memverse.com/forums/general-chat-topics/topics/politics?page=1#post-483+ )

We're technically not supposed to talk politics on here ( +https://www.memverse.com/forums/general-chat-topics/topics/politics?page=1#post-483+ )

Ah, ok, I didn't know. Sorry.

No, that's fine. But emailing is okay! ;)

My driving test is this afternoon! :D If you would, pray that I would do well, be cautious, and not be nervous!

Yay!! I'll be praying for you :)

I'm leaving tonight. So I might not be on for a while. :D

I went to Gondor today. Literally.

And the other week I went to the Mount of Doom.

lol. I'm going to Athens. :p ^the real one not the one in Georgia or wherever it is…^ :D

Random? announcement? It says I won the Bible knowledge quiz yesterday and I didn't even do it!

Random? announcement? It says I won the Bible knowledge quiz yesterday and I didn't even do it!

Whaaa??! :o Is that the impersonator again?

I don't know, as I wasn't on then to find out. It could be a possibility though. Or it could be a bug in the quiz system. I won the Saturday quiz, but I wasn't on the Wednesday one, so maybe a bug in the system put the winner from the Saturday quiz as the winner on the Wednesday one.

Im in Athina now. with my friend Alexia and the 2 boys, both named Mario. i would tell you their nicknames but the one's nickname isnt that appropiate so i wont. :P

Let us know how it goes!

What?! I said hello to you, and you said hi back…yikes!!! Maybe I was talking to a robot! ^and I'm partly joking about that^ I wonder if someone has hacked MV… you know, there've been a few MV-ers whose emails were hacked recently. Everyone, I'd recommend changing your passwords (for both MV and email if they're the same).

I wasn't quite prepared (hadn't practiced driving in a while, plus I misunderstood some instructions) and so I have another one scheduled next week.

Let us know how it goes!

Oh, okay. That's what I plan/hope to do in a few weeks – just go ahead and take the test, even though I won't be prepared as I would like to be, so that I can go ahead and get it over with :) (I really need to get my learner's permit before BB gets here again!).

What?! I said hello to you, and you said hi back...yikes!!! Maybe I was talking to a robot! ^and I'm partly joking about that^ I wonder if someone has hacked MV... you know, there've been a few MV-ers whose emails were hacked recently. Everyone, I'd recommend changing your passwords (for both MV and email if they're the same).

Both me and Abby that I know about… I did change all my passwords the other day. :D

I went to Gondor today. Literally. And the other week I went to the Mount of Doom.

Just out of curiosity, did they look as incredible in real life as they did on the movies? It didn't ever really occur to me that either one of those were real locations, I don't know why. I knew that some of the places in the Hobbit were real-life places that they built (like Dale), or at least I thought they did. I doubt that the lava in Mount Doom was real, though. :-)

I thought you were in China???

I am now a licensed driver. :)

Uh oh. Time for people in Texas to get off the roads and out of the way. :P

Uh oh. Time for people in Texas to get off the roads and out of the way. :P

xD

;D i still have like 3 more years… 0.o :P

Congrats!! :D Drive safe, now! ;D

Next year I won't be a homeschooler anymore. cries

:P

Next year I won't be a homeschooler anymore. *cries* :P

Pshaw. Once a homeschooler, ALWAYS a homeschooler. Have you learned nothing from Narnia? ;)

Next year I won't be a homeschooler anymore. *cries* :P

Pshaw. Once a homeschooler, ALWAYS a homeschooler. Have you learned nothing from Narnia? ;)

I guess… :P thankfully, the school is only 3 days a week, and they send homework for the other two days… still trying to figure if that counts as homeschooling… :P

Parent's won't let me read Narnia…. ^they said they're probably ok cuz all the homeschoolers read them but they wanna read them first, and they're never gonna get around to it… :P^

Parent's won't let me read Narnia.... ^they said they're probably ok cuz all the homeschoolers read them but they wanna read them first, and they're never gonna get around to it... :P^

I understand. My parents (especially mom) were the same when we were younger.

Last night, at 11:35, I was liberated forever from the bonds of higher math with a barely passing score on my final geometry test!!!

I'm sorry to hear that. You could always do extra mathematics!

Last night, at 11:35, I was liberated forever from the bonds of higher math with a barely passing score on my final geometry test!!!

You have our condolences.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Last night, at 11:35, I was liberated forever from the bonds of higher math with a barely passing score on my final geometry test!!!

Congrats! Geometry is one of the worst math classes out there. :P

I'm going on my first drive without a parent or grandparent in the car today. :P

Public Service Announcement: Watch out for Matthew on the roads! =P jk