The Story That Never Ends

@GLaDOS - we weren't trying to hurt your feelings and are sorry if it came off that way. We'd just like the time period to stay where it is right now. Please do add some more, just don't try to change the things that we have already set. Thanks. :)

Wow. Hm…let's see…nothing was set back then. That's my point. Why wasn't anyone open to anything I said?

Apparently everyone had their own idea of what the time period was, and I guess your posts seemed to contradict that… but nothing was set in stone. Or ink, or pixels, for that matter.

Has anyone finished reading it through yet? If so, I would love to know your thoughts. :)

I read through the whole thing the other day! I really enjoyed it. :) Sometimes the quality (of dialogue and such) was a bit inconsistent but that is to be expected and shouldn't be too hard to fix with some editing :)

Thanks for reading it through! I understand what you mean by the dialogue. What you see is probably due to our having so many different contributing writers with different writing styles. :)

Yeah, that's right. But the parts that you edited are so much better already! Keep up the good work!

I read it while we were on vacation. I skimmed over a few spots so I got lost (surprise, surprise) sometimes but I think we should finish it!

Apparently everyone had their own idea of what the time period was, and I guess your posts seemed to contradict that... but nothing was set in stone. Or ink, or pixels, for that matter.

lol!

I read it while we were on vacation. I skimmed over a few spots so I got lost (surprise, surprise) sometimes but I think we should finish it!

TOTALLY! I'm working on reading it again… it's just taking longer than I wanted it too :(

(I had a question about where we're ending this book… you said something not to long ago about ending it a little ways back from where we're at currently. But then the title wouldn't really fit any more…if we don't find out that Rowan's prince…?)

(Emily!!! Can you join me on Social Chatting?)

(Good point, Emily. What if we called it A Tale of the Nobles of Alavaria for the first part and then the sequel would be The Prince of the Fallen?)

(that could work! Sounds good to me if everyone else is okay with it)

I was not thinking that we would cut it that early (if we did, though, we should probably write some story that occurs before chapter one, thus moving the story that is written further along (for instance, we could open with the Battle with the Duke of Assen, or something of that nature)), but if you want, I would be fine with that option as well. It gives us room to work, as it will be mostly editing, instead of adding. I'm sorry I haven't been keeping this up as much as I would want to. :)

One more thing is that it might be good to have a title before we say "A Tale of the Nobles of Alavaria." If this becomes a book, it would be cool to have a title before each, and then follow with the subtitle. The Prince of the Fallen could be next, but the first one could say something else (what exactly I think we could discuss). Just a thought…What do you guys think? :)

(Sounds good to me)

(Sounds good to me)

Please guys! This was on page three :(!!!! Even a small paragraph would help !!!! :)!

Wow! This is a really great story! :) I wouldn't mind adding if I knew what to write… :) What should happen next?

(Hi Jess! :) Before adding to the story, I suggest reading through it thoroughly so you know the characters and the plot and then reading all the comments that have background info on the characters, language, locations, etc. After that, you can write whatever you think would be good to happen next, as long as it's not to crazy or different than what has been happening already. And, just to let you know, we're trying to put parentheses around all of the comments that aren't actually the story.)

(Thanks! :) I'll read through that! :) And I'll try to remember the parentheses. :P )

(Hi Everyone :)!
I talked to Jimmy yesterday (in person :D) and I have and idea for a next addition. I will try to get it in in the next week (but as you know i am bad at deadlines :p) So hopefully we will have this back up :)!!!!!!!!

@Jessica- Yay!!! I was hoping you would want to write :)!!! As BJ14 says, I think you should read the story fist and then write and addition! I can't wait to see it :)!)

(Ummm… You might want to put your comments in parentheses as well, Hannah. JK. :)
I look forward to your addition, Hannah! Also, thanks for joining the thread, Jessica! )

(Guess what I have for everyone :D???? AN ADDITTION !!!!!!!!!!!!! I worked hard on this so there had better be an addition from someone else in the next week or two :P :) jk! Here we go!!!! (Sorry it is so long…))

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It has been said that evil is a consuming fire: that it neither rests nor sleeps until it has been satiated. It has also been said that those bent on destruction are urged on by an unstoppable force, and that nothing can stop their journey down a path of cruelty. While often true, this understanding fails to account for the need of sleep. A wicked man, even those as determined as Lord Traius, cannot continue forever, and even darkness must slumber. So it was with the Count of Omb. Largely unaware of the endless commotion at the Castle of Carivia and ignorant of the noble forces gathering in the South, he lay upon his bed. That article was raised off the stone floor and bound by four wooden posts, each of which was the trunk of a tree long dead.

It might be said that the Count slept soundly, but even then his dreams were troubled. Swirling images and collages pushed through his brain like swarms. They spoke of horrible deeds that were yet to be, sword thrusts yet to be administered, and weeping children yet to form tears.

A nervous knock resounded at the door.

“Permission granted.” Said the Count of Omb gruffly, half asleep. A small man stepped in, his small, sunken eyes showing fear.

“My Lord, I was told to see you immediately. I had no idea… forgive me, sir. Melkior – Lord Melkior - has captured the former king in the North.” The Count sat up in shock. His eyes betrayed their notorious blaze as he looked with anger and disbelief upon the sudden messenger. That man, however, rubbed his hands together and kept his eyes upon the rough floor.

Sensing that the man desired light, he gave permission for a torch to be lit. Still, his eyes did not move from the subject of his gaze, waiting for his news to be explained.
The messenger, however, said nothing. Evidently, he had expected the Count to be pleased by the news, and his reaction had made him rather nervous.

“What do you mean, ‘Melkior captured the king’?” the Count finally muttered, almost to himself. “He left only a short time ago; there was almost no time. Did you see this capture?”

The messenger opened his mouth. “I did not see the capture, sir. I know, though, that it occurred. I could hear the cheering right as… a messenger rode up to tell me that it had happened.”

“Strange…”

“It is true, sir. Melkior has taken your worst enemy.”

Seemingly absentminded, the Count of Omb replied, “Go about your work as usual, Adinaz.” As he commanded, so the confused messenger did.

“How could Melkior have captured the king in so short a time?” The Count yelled as soon as the heavy door closed. The name of Melkior caused his eyes to flash in rage. “It is impossible! It is utterly impossible. There was no time…” He gave another exclamation of anger and, leaning back in his chair, closed his eyes in thought. His rough hands, many times stained with other’s blood, stroked his dagger.

Only a few minutes later, however, another knock thundered upon the door.

Upon admitting this new and unknown messenger, the Count of Omb urged him to be brief.

“Of necessity, my lord. To understand, though, you must hear from the beginning. I and many others serve under Sir Denvoir, a faithful servant of yours – as you well know. We were with the Lord Arsoth when he turned against your orders. He believed a peasant’s word that the King himself was nearby. The army found a group of rebels, but it surely was too small to contain the king. Sir Denvoir had the courage to take his two hundred men, myself included, to find and capture Lord Traius as you commanded.”

The messenger stared closely at his lord’s face, desperate for some sign of confirmation to justify what could be seen as treason. The Count’s face, however, betrayed no emotion. The man continued, “We made it to Carivia a few hours later, intending to warn Lord Drakin of danger, but catapults and swords were all that met us. They were – they were led by Lord Traius. One can only assume that Lord Drakin is dead, and the garrison has been turned. Of course, Sir Denvoir was determined to attack and to reclaim the fortress. I was sent to tell you but a moment before the actual assault. This was but nine hours ago, my lord.”

The Count sank back into his seat, his face paling, searching his mind for a familiar form upon which to concentrate his anger. “Traius,” he muttered as his eyes filled with rage. “Denvior will continue the onslaught and must assuredly win.” He still did not, however, reply to the messenger, who was evidently still recovering from the long journey. Suddenly realizing that he had not dismissed the man, he did so at once and returned to his musings.

He thought for a long time. He envisioned destruction upon the soul of any who defied him, and for Traius, something must be done that was special. Continued musing. Silent thoughts.

Another knock sounded on the large wooden door. “I said you were dismissed!” roared the surprised Count of Omb as his angry contemplations were broken in their stream.

“It is I! A messenger from the army of the South.” A firm voice answered.

“Proceed,” He said reluctantly. He prepared himself for still more terrible news.

“My lord,” the muscular man said calmly, “I am a scout under Captain Kargor of the army of Lord Telrond. We have captured the infamous Sir Walter–”

The Count looked up with pleased surprise that he tried to hide with a firm glance. “Continue, man!” he ordered.

The man sighed and said, “Take pity, my Lord. I am but the messenger.”

The Count of Omb was now showing anger. “My pity depends upon the truthfulness of the information,” he said.

The messenger, slightly relieved, replied, “The former king and his servant – captured, as you might have heard, by Lord Arsoth – apparently escaped. The knight and king were traveling together. While my superiors were resting, I came upon their trail. I found the servant, going by the title of Sir Walter, but the king escaped and we saw no more of him. We do indeed count the rebel as a great prize, my lord. As much as he tried to resist, we extracted much information from him.”

“You have done well.” He said smiling darkly and rather slyly. “But if you wish to keep your life, bring Adinaz the messenger to me in my office chamber within the hour!” The messenger left the dim, though luxuriously furnished, room.

The Count of Omb was deeply confused but now he had started to grasp the situation. Did Lord Melkior really capture the king, or did Lord Arsoth? He had two conflicting reports, and the truth had to be made known.

He donned his attire, strutted angrily to his spacious office and sat down at the roughly carved desk. He straightened his black glove and awaited the two messengers.

The two messengers burst through the door, fear so filling them that they could not stand without shaking. The Count laced his fingers together, his eyes darkening as he looked at the first and last of the three messengers he had greeted that day.

“You both say that the former king of Korniden was captured−” he was interrupted by acknowledgment of the two men. “But you say differently of the means of the capture.” He was now pacing back and forth in the room. Suddenly in a loud tone, throwing his dagger in a fit of rage into the wall, “Under pain of death, death, men! who captured the king?” His white teeth were clenched together; his black eyes pierced through them. He saw the smaller, first messenger flinch.

“Ah! Adinaz, will you tell me?” He terrible smile sent the small man cringing under the feeling of terror.

“Melkior, my lord.” He puffed out his chest in an effort to appear confident. It did not fool the steadily haunting gaze of the powerful man.

“Well then, you…what is your designation?” The larger man acknowledged the name of Krendian, the Count continued. “Who do you believe captured the king?”

“Lord Arosth is the original captor my lord. If this man say otherwise…” He turned to the smaller man; Adinaz’s shrunken eyes showed fear, if not terror, “He is a liar. We know by evidence obtained from the captured knight that the king and had been captured by Lord Arsoth, suffered to escape, and recaptured by Captain Kragor and his men.”

The Count of Omb applauded and turned to the other. “Very good, Adinaz. But you did not think over your plan. Melkior could not have found or captured the king in less than a fortnight in this surrounding country. Very well played. Did Lord, or former Lord, Melkior tell this delightful little story?”

The little man was now sufficiently frightened and cried in torrents, “Oh! My Lord, please do not blame me! I came to tell you that the Lord Arsoth had captured the king, but Lord Melkior intercepted me and told me he would kill me if I told you of Lord Arsoth, but please do not kill me due to that man’s jealousy and deception. He was going to kill me!” The Count smiled weakly and replied.

“I will not kill you. Only I will carry out Melkior’s plans. Guards! Take this man to the courtyard and dispose of him in the usual method.” The guards dragged the screeching man out as the Count of Omb situated his glove sufficiently on his rough hand.

“Krendian, you have done very well. I am pleased that you have done the ‘right’ job.” He sneered. “Tell Captain Kragor to bring Sir Walter to me at once! And never again bring me the news of the former king ever escaping! Am I understood?” He roared. The man smiled slowly and walked out.

The Count of Omb grimaced and sat down again upon his large desk. He curled his finger together, and exhaled darkly. “Melkior.”

(Ok….I just realized how very long this is….sorry :P)

(Hannah! It's great! I love it - very nicely done!)

Wow! That is so awesome.

Current length of the story: Approximately 50,000 words! Official novel length!!! To give some perspective, it is about 25 pages longer than most of Chuck Black's Kingdom books. :)

Wow! That is so awesome. *Current length of the story: Approximately 50,000 words! Official novel length!!! To give some perspective, it is about 25 pages longer than most of Chuck Black's Kingdom books. :)*

(Yay!!!! :) That's really cool — so..what do we do now?)

Well, we could tie up a few loose ends, if we want. We do not have to go much further, as I think we will be able to expand a bit more in editing (clearing up confusing actions, time differences that are hard to understand, and stuff like that :) ). I could see us doing only about six more medium additions before being done. :D

Of course, though, this is if everyone wants to be done, or if anyone wants to continue working on the story at all. :) Involvement has really slowed down.

Great job Hannah!!!

(I don't think it's because people don't want to do it, it's just really busy. Last week was one of the busiest weeks that my family has had in a long time and the rest of March is going to be crazy too. I'm thinking it'll pick back up in the summer, since around Christmas it was a little busier on here. Anyway, would we end the story all together or cut it off at like chapter 15 and keep going on with the sequel? We can't leave all the loose ends hanging - I, for one, would really like to know how the rest of it ends. :D I think expanding will definitely be needed but I have no idea how to even begin doing that. Are you going to? It's totally fine with me if you do. I would love to write an addition but I really don't have time. School and the time it takes to go back and read and try to think of something to add is not in my schedule right now. hopefully in the summer, things will slow down (I say that with a hopeful expression) and I'll be able to help more…)

Guess what I have for everyone :D???? *AN ADDITTION* !!!!!!!!!!!!! I worked hard on this so there had better be an addition from someone else in the next week or two :P :) jk! Here we go!!!! (Sorry it is so long...)

(Is this a new chapter? Or is it simply a new Section that is separated from the rest of the story by a line of ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~?)

New Chapters are separated by "Capter x" and new sections are separated by the ~~~~~~~ line. We sometimes use it(~~~~) to distinguish our words to each other and an addition.

(About the loose ends… I think that you should tie up some of the parts, enough to give it a 'completed' feel. Since I think the battle with Lord Tarius is still going on, maybe he should be driven back? I'm not saying he should be killed or something like that, but if he was, the second book could focus on getting rid of the Council of Lords. Just an idea. :) And I was wondering, did Britton die?)

(If anyone kills Britton, they're gonna have to answer to me. I want him to stay, and since I added him, I'm gonna make him stay!!! :D)

(Well, technically the last addition mentioning him left it up in the air whether he was still alive or not (page 68 or something), so if you want him to live, you could possibly write about that in a little bit. :) I was thinking (my personal thoughts) that we should kill Lord Traius, have the Council under Sir Denvoir take back Carivia, tie up the other story lines (what happens to Lord Melkior and the now-captured Sir Walter), and end the story then. What are your ideas?)

(Haha, I would if I had time. Right now, I have no idea what's going on. Would someone mind briefing me on the last few important things? I'm kinda confused and don't really have time to go back and read it…)

(We're on the 2nd page of topics, people! We can't let that happen!)

(I agree. :) In order to do anything, someone needs to make an addition. It could really be anything, I think. We will try to work with what you guys post. :) )

I think this story might have ended…

(<blockquote>I think this story might have ended…</blockquote>

I hope not! I think everyone's just busy with school.)

It might be kind of nice if the story was on Google Drive/SkyDrive and was edited on there; that way Jimmy wouldn't have to post every chapter, he could just post the link to the updated story. Just an idea… (Let me know if this has already been done and I missed it…)

(@Bethany M. - we would do that and have done a little of the background stuff on Gdrive but some of the contributors don't have a google account so it wouldn't be fair to exclude them after all they've done…good idea, though)

(Ah - good point.)

Just one question, and I may have just missed something here... but there's a part in the story where it talks about Britton being led to the Lord by the way Ronan treated him. I thought Ronan became a Christian *after* that, though - when Sir Quinn died.....

(I don't think anyone ever answered your question… Sir Quinn told Ronan to forgive Britton and be kind to him, and that was one of the influences in Britton's life that led him to the Lord. So that part was more Sir Quinn than Ronan. :P)

Just as she stepped within the green walls that bordered the secret refuge, Kathryn heard the sound of a light breath to her right. In her terror, she let out a small scream. "Kathryn!" cried the source of the sound she had earlier heard. It belonged to Rowan himself. "Count Rowan!" cried Kathryn. "I am... glad to see you. I thought you might have been..." ............

(I know you posted this months ago, but I just realized that we said earlier that Kathryn had never met Ronan before and didn't know what he looked like or anything…)

(Good point. I will make sure to fix that soon. :) )

(I finished reading the whole thing – you've done a phenomenal job on editing!!)

(Thanks, Emily. I am still working on it. almost to summer break! :) )

(I can't wait to see how this all turns out…! Oh! That's exciting! :D)