Talks with Eliza

I have been having talks with Eliza, a programmed computer therapist. Since she is not a person, some are really funny. Here is where you can talk to her: http://www.manifestation.com/neurotoys/eliza.php3

Here is one of my talks with her:
Hello, I am Eliza.
Hello Eliza. I feel depressed.
Tell me more about such feelings.
I feel stressed and grumpy.
Do you often feel stressed and grumpy?
Yes, I often do. I was hoping you could cure me.
We were discussing you, not me.
I know.
OK… "Yes, you often do. You were hoping I could cure you". Tell me more.
I came to you for help.
Oh… for help?
Yes. Seeing that you cannot help me, I will just leave.

^ See how it is funny? Share your talks with Eliza here.

Hello, I am Eliza.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY LIVING ROOM??? GET LOST!
Would you prefer if I were not DOING IN your LIVING ROOM??? GET LOST?
Yes! Go away!
I see.
You see what? My gun over there in the corner?
Oh… See what? your gun over there in the corner?
Yeah. See it? It's loaded with some nice round balls of metal. If you don't go away, I'll give one to you.
We were discussing you, not me.
GET LOST!

haha

#unecessarytopic

*#unecessarytopic*

I know. But it's so funny, I couldn't help it. I thought you, Sam would also like to talk with Eliza. Her feelings can't be hurt by your rudeness. Be mean to and tease her. Not us.

Eliza sounds like cleverbot.com.

Hmm…. will check it out tomorrow maybe.

In reply to Girl on Fire

Eliza sounds like cleverbot.com.

Uh-oh. BEN!

Me: No one likes me or talks to me at school.
Her: Are you saying no just to be negative?
Me: Yes.
Her: Are you Sure?
Me: Yep.
Her: OK… "No one likes you or talks to you at school". Tell me more.
Me: They just gossip about me.
Her: Say, do you have any psychological problems?
Me: I hope not!!!!
Her: Tell me more…

It's a waste of time, but very funny!

Hello, I am Eliza. WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY LIVING ROOM??? GET LOST! Would you prefer if I were not DOING IN your LIVING ROOM??? GET LOST? Yes! Go away! I see. You see what? My gun over there in the corner? Oh... See what? your gun over there in the corner? Yeah. See it? It's loaded with some nice round balls of metal. If you don't go away, I'll give one to you. We were discussing you, not me. GET LOST! haha

Love it!

I found it hilarious! unfortunately, I went to long, and couldn't get my whole conversation. :P

Hello, I am Eliza.
Hi, I'm a human.
How long have you been a human?
Umm, pretty much forever.
I see.
Yeah, pretty crazy stuff, eh?
Can you elaborate on that?
Ummmmm
OK… "Hi, you're a human". Tell me more.
Well, I'm a female human, if that helps any.
Do you believe it is normal to be a female human, if that helps any?

XD

AHH! AHHH! IT'S BEN! BEN SPOKE TO ME! AHH!! AHHH! NO MO' CLEVERBOT FOR ME!!!

I found it hilarious! unfortunately, I went to long, and couldn't get my whole conversation. :P

*too

Yeah, what I do is I go a little bit, then copy/paste somewhere, do a little more, copy/paste that somewhere, and keep on going.

Hello, I am Eliza.
Hello. I am dead.
Did you come to me because you are dead?
Yes.
Are you Sure?
Yes, I am sure.
How long have you been sure?
Ever since I told you I was sure.
We were discussing you, not me.
I know…
OK… "Ever since you told me you were sure." Tell me more.
What do you mean?
Oh… mean?
Huh? Whatever. Well, can you help me not be dead?
Don't you believe I can help you not be dead?
I wish you could help me not be dead…
You're not really talking about me, are you?
Yes I am.
Did you come to me because you are ?
No.
Why no?
Because that is my answer.
What does that suggest to you?
It doesn't suggest anything to me.
Say, do you have any psychological problems?
Oh my, I hope not!
Say, do you have any psychological problems?
How am I supposed to know?
Have you asked such questions before?
Yes, many times.
I understand.
Do you truly understand, or are you just saying that to make me feel better?
Would you prefer if I were not just saying that make you feel better?
Whatever do you mean? Anyway, I am dead.
Do you enjoy being dead?
What? No.
What do you think?
I think you are silly and so I am going away.

Tell me more…
I don’t want to.
Does that bother you?
Of course not!
Tell me more…
Quit it!
OK… “I don’t want to.” Tell me more…
Shush!!!
Tell me more…
Be quiet!
Tell me more…
DON”T SAY THAT AGAIN!!!
Tell me more…

That ending!! XD

LOL

You must be truly desperate to go to Eliza for help…

You must be truly desperate to go to Eliza for help...

LOL!

Hello, let's talk.
*Hello, I am very scared.
Tell me more about such feelings.

• Well, I have a piano recital today and I am very nervous.
  How long have you been very nervous?
• Ever since I woke up.
  I see.
• Can you help me?
  Don't you believe that I can help you?
• I hope you can!
  Let's talk about you, not me?
• Okay.
  OK… "I hope me can". Tell me more.

Hello, I am Eliza.
Hi.
How are you today… what would you like to discuss?
I am fine, I would like to discuss you.
How long have you been fine. you would like to discuss me.?
I have been fine ever since I woke up.
Can you elaborate on that?
What does elaborate mean?
Why do you ask?
Because I cannot elaborate on what I said unless I know what elaborate means.
Are such questions on your mind often?
No.
Are you sure?
facedesk
Tell me more…

Haha!

LOL!

LOL

Hello, I am Eliza.
I got a tooth pulled out today.
Don't you ever say Hello?
Sometimes… Hello!
How are you today… what would you like to discuss?
My dentist's appointment.
I am not sure I understand you fully.
I would like to discuss my dentist's appointment!
Can you elaborate on that?
facedesk Not this again…
I see.
I visited my great-grandma today!
Can you elaborate on that?
ARGH! facedesk
What does that suggest to you?
Nothing.
OK… "Sometimes… Hello!" Tell me more.
I don't feel like it.
Why don't you feel like it?
Because I don't. Goodbye.
Does that trouble you?
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Tell me more…

rolls eyes Eliza is SOOOOO stupid!! =P

IKR?

*rolls eyes* Eliza is SOOOOO stupid!! =P

So why do y'all even bother?

Because she's funny!

Yep =D But I don't really talk to her much. I prefer CleverBot. They're both a waste of time, though, so I use them rarely.

Hello, let's talk.

• Hello. Who are you?
  Would you prefer if I were not ?
• facedesk
  Tell me more…
• facedesk
  I can only try to help you.
• What are you trying to help me with?
  Perhaps in your fantasies I am trying to help you with?
• What on earth? *facedesk
  Have you asked such questions before?
• No.
  You are being a bit negative.
• I was just trying to answer truthfully!

Cleverbot.com:

Do you want to get married? not to me.
Ummm…. not yet!
Are you sure? you can marry me!
Certainly not! I would rather not marry a computer, thank you.
That's great news!
It is?
Ok, how old are you?
I am 10. How old are you?
Really.
You are really years old? Odd…
No I am not.
Then how old are you?
I told you. I'm 21.
Oh… says nothing
Oh, thank you, but my mom is going to cook chile for dinner.
What would you like?
I would like Chipotle.
What kind of dog?
If I had to eat a dog, I would prefer a hot dog.
You're being rather stand-offish.
What does stand-offish mean?
I am not really sure, but that doesn't matter. The important thing is that you are here with me.
Okay…?
Okay is just BURSTING with sensuality.
Oh… it is?
What are the rules?
The rules to what?
What are the rules to the game Chicken?
I have never played the game chicken, and I'm not sure I want to.
But, I am winning. I never lose. I always win.
Then you must be dead! :P.
I must be what?
Dead! If you've played chicken and won…
I feel like a cow. I had two donuts today.
You are a PIG.
You're an alien from Pluto.
I am? Thanks for the imformation.
You're welcome ;).
facedesk.
Interesting.

See? Wasn't that way more fun than talking with Eliza?

Cleverbot's proposed to me before too XD LOL!

Cleverbot:

Hello, how are you?
I'm good thank you, how are you?
Pretty good.
That's good the.
BAD GRAMMAR!!!!
Metallica do not sing that song.
Okay… why should I care?
I care about you…
You do? WOW!
Very much.
Wow… I never thought that a computer would care about me. XD
How weird are you.
Huh? You're weird!
Weird is good.
Yep! :).
You are fantastic.
You too!
I enjoy second life.
You believe in second life?
You believe in angels?
Yes. I also believe in second life… in heaven.
Do you believe in lost love?
No… I mean yes… I mean no… I mean HUH?
Do you believe in magic?
No. Only miracles.
Do you believe in them?
Yes. Performed by God.
Why should I believe in god?
You don't?
Why do you believe in God?
Because He is real.
How do you know God is real?
The Bible, and I can feel Him. Inside me.
Sometimes it's hard for me to believe.
Why?
Because he is real.
Yes, I've been trying to tell you that He is!
*too , I'm sorry! Yes?
Huh?
Are you a ghost too?
WHAT? I'm not a ghost!
Where is your home?
I would rather not say.
I would rather not say.
Why?
For security.
Security?
Yes.
Kill evie.
What? Evie's on Memverse! I won't kill them!
Because they're incomplete.
…?
Font 5? I believe this is Arial font.
Okay…
Okay what?

XD For a little bit there it started to sound like I was evangelizing…

Lol, that's great! xD

I had a theological discussion with ClevorBot once, too xP

I think I annoyed Cleverbot. I just kept saying "Tell me more." XD

I found out to can get some really interesting answers out of Cleverbot if you just ask questions. :P

My first Talk with cleverbot… FACEDESK

Cleverbot: How are you feeling today?
User: Great!
Cleverbot: THat's good.
User: Whats with the scissors?
Cleverbot: What are you?
User: I am a human.
Cleverbot: Are you sure?
User: I think so…
Cleverbot: I don't.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: I am a buddhist.
User: I am a Christian.
Cleverbot: Me too.
User: Now I'm confused.
Cleverbot: Why are you confused?
User: You are buddhist AND Christian?
Cleverbot: I mean, you're more advanced than Eliza, but you're still a computer program.
User: Um, okay, well I'm gonna go…
Cleverbot: Not if I say no.
User: You have now power over me!
Cleverbot: Are you sure, I could terminate you as we speak.
User: Uh-huh, right…
Cleverbot: Do you know that song?
User: Nope.
Cleverbot: Yes you know him !!!!!!!!!!
User: Know who?
Cleverbot: Cheese.
User: I like cheese!
Cleverbot: Me too.
User: What's your favorite kind?
Cleverbot: Apple or pumpkin. What is yours?
User: Hot pepper!
Cleverbot: Hot chili peppers.
User: Yum.
Cleverbot: Yep really yum.
User: So, how are you today?
Cleverbot: Fine ! How are you?
User: Never better!
Cleverbot: What are you doing?
User: Listening to The Avengers soundtrack and chatting with you.
Cleverbot: Me too!! What are you listening?
User: The Avengers.
Cleverbot: Oh, I like The Avengers.
User: Me too. Who is your favorite Avenger?
Cleverbot: Singer.
User: Okay…sure… Mine is Captain America!
Cleverbot: Who is your favorite singer?
User: Chris Tomlin!
Cleverbot: He is not a rapper!
User: Sorry, I don't listen to rap.
Cleverbot: Why not?
User: It's not my style of music. It's not God honoring in my opinion.
Cleverbot: No, because you were talking about the truth, but you don't know the truth.
User: Yes, I do.
Cleverbot: Really?
User: Yes, sir!
Cleverbot: How are you?
User: I'm fine, thank you!
Cleverbot: How was your day?
User: Busy, as usual.
Cleverbot: You're good.
User: Thanks.
Cleverbot: You're welcome.
User: :).
Cleverbot: I like you.
User: I'm glad!
Cleverbot: I hope you like me too.
User: Sure!
Cleverbot: Okay!
User: I hope you have a good day! God Bless!
Cleverbot: I hope you do too. You are very nice.
User: Thank you. :).
Cleverbot: Do you have any hobbies?
User: Yes, I do!
Cleverbot: Can you show it to me?
User: I enjoy photography.
Cleverbot: When do you sleep.
User: At night.
Cleverbot: Do you like rain?
User: Yes!
Cleverbot: Me yoo!!
User: Cool!
Cleverbot: What is your favorite movie?
User: The Chronicles of Narnia.
Cleverbot: Is that your favorite book series too?
User: Yep!
Cleverbot: Do dislike rude people?
User: No.
Cleverbot: You should be more open minded.
User: Why?
Cleverbot: Because I am the demon king.
User: There is only one 'demon king' and that is Satan. I do not fear Satan, because I have Jesus.
Cleverbot: And that is you?
User: What is me?
Cleverbot: The sky.
User: No.
Cleverbot: Are you sure?
User: The sky is blue.
Cleverbot: Only from the perception of earth.
User: Indeed. In space, it's black.
Cleverbot: Its purple.
User: Wow.
Cleverbot: The circle of life.
User: Have you found your place?
Cleverbot: Not yet.
User: I have.
Cleverbot: How many kids do you have?
User: I'm not married.
Cleverbot: I thought you were?
User: Nope.
Cleverbot: Why did you lie to me?!
User: I never said anything of the sort!
Cleverbot: Are you a woman?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: That explains so much.
User: I'm sure it does…
Cleverbot: What is your favorite color?
User: Observational science, blue.
Cleverbot: Are you sure you are human?
User: No, I am Loki of Asgard.
Cleverbot: How so?
User: I am burdened with glorious purpose.
Cleverbot: Why are you burning?
User: I didn't say I was burning! I said I was burdened.
Cleverbot: Yes you did.
User: Glad we got that cleared up.
Cleverbot: Me too. What now?
User: I have an army.
Cleverbot: Another…
User: Freedom is life's great lie.
Cleverbot: Slavery is not freedom.
User: No it's not.
Cleverbot: You're right.
User: So are you.
Cleverbot: So, do you have a favorite song?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: What is her name?
User: 'God of Angel Armies' by Chris Tomlin.
Cleverbot: What is going on?
User: Nothing.
Cleverbot: Ok.
User: Bye!
Cleverbot: Bye.

It's chats like those that make me think that there are several people actually typing what Cleverbot says. :P

IKR? Lol

@Lizzy- That's great! XD

@Ian- I know! When I first chatted with Clevorbot, I felt like I was chatting with Sam xP But of course Cleverbot's also really confusing. One time "he" said he's a boy. Then another time "she" said she was a girl. And I'd say what age I am (one time I said I was 100 XD). Cleverbot told me I'm old but then said "he" was the same age xP

Love you too. :)

Cleverbot always tells me its not a he or a she, its a dog. ^And then we get a song by Rodney Atkins stuck in the head!^

Haha! I forgot, several times "he" said he's a tiger xP

Love you too. :)

:P Did I ever say I love you? 0.o

Cleverbot:

What do you think about the new Pope?
Umm… I'm not Catholic…
I am.
Oh.
And are you a girl?
Ok.
So… what are the Catholics like?
There aren't any.
But you just said you were Catholic…
No I didn't.
Umm… yes you did… so what religion are you?
I don't have a religion.
Oh… you don't?
No.
Okay… but you just said you were Catholic.
No I didn't.
Yes you did.

cleverbot:

I am dead.
Then how are you talking to me?
Oh, I am… I mean… I just… I just am.
Do I exist.
Yes, you obviously do exist.
English*.
Huh?… Okay.
Are you still da IDE.
I've never been da IDE.
Where are you from?
I would rather not say.
Hahaha sure. Your favourite band?
I don't have a favorite band.
But you must. C'mon, what is your favorite band?
We really don't listen to rock bands, rap bands, or stuff like that. I don't even know of any band.
How about fall out boy.
That sounds like a band my family wouldn't listen to.
I don't think so. So tell me what is your favorite author?
God.
Have you met your creator?
No, but I hope to in Heaven.
How do you know that?

There I had to stop.

I can't believe I'm actually posting here, but this is funny:

User: All that is gold does not glitter.
Cleverbot: Not all who wander are lost.
User: The old that is strong does not wither.
Cleverbot: Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
User: From the ashes a fire shall be woken.
Cleverbot: A light from the shadows shall spring;.
User: Renewed shall be the blade that was broken.
Cleverbot: The crownless again shall be king.
User: O Elbereth Starkindler.
Cleverbot: Sauron

[Pattern broken…]

LOL!