The Story That Never Ends

(It really is pretty amazing! I can't believe we've come this far in a year…haha, when I started it, I never thought it'd come to something like this. thanks so much for your help everyone!)

(What were you thinking we should go to next? I'm sorry if you said earlier and I didn't see.)

you guys should get this published!

(The paragraph at the end is what I wrote earlier. Mostly, it is a matter of tying up all the loose ends but leaving enough mystery to leave room for more. As this is a good project, you can really do what you want. :) Still, tying up loose ends is generally helpful. When/if we work on that, I think we should go back and try to give more personality to the characters (who often talk in the same style and react he same way. Then, making sure there are no plot holes (things in the storyline that make no sense), we can say that we are done. :)
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— was thinking (my personal thoughts) that we should kill Lord Traius, have the Council under Sir Denvoir take back Carivia, tie up the other story lines (what happens to Lord Melkior and the now-captured Sir Walter), and end the story then. What are your ideas?) —- )

@Twilr: Thank you so much! :)

(Where can I read the entire story? I'd love to add but would like to get caught up with the story first ;) )

( Hi, Rachel! That is great! The full story (so far) is on page 65 of this thread. There are one or two additions after this, and I think they are on page 70. :) )

( Okay, thanks so much! =)

(The paragraph at the end is what I wrote earlier. Mostly, it is a matter of tying up all the loose ends but leaving enough mystery to leave room for more. As this is a good project, you can really do what you want. :) Still, tying up loose ends is generally helpful. When/if we work on that, I think we should go back and try to give more personality to the characters (who often talk in the same style and react he same way. Then, making sure there are no plot holes (things in the storyline that make no sense), we can say that we are done. :) | | v --- was thinking (my personal thoughts) that we should kill Lord Traius, have the Council under Sir Denvoir take back Carivia, tie up the other story lines (what happens to Lord Melkior and the now-captured Sir Walter), and end the story then. What are your ideas?) ---- ) @Twilr: Thank you so much! :)

(Sounds good to me. I have no idea how to wrap it up, except that Britton can't die and neither can the king. Just sayin'. :D )

(Oh and btw, Jimmy, thanks so much for editing! It's amazing! )

(Okay, thank you!!)

(Sounds good to me. I have no idea how to wrap it up, except that Britton can't die and neither can the king. Just sayin'. :D )

(Haha xD I second that! :P)

(I do not know about all of you but I am sad that this thread keeps languishing on page 2. ;) In other words, I am home for summer break, which means I can actually work on the story again with y'all! I will see if I can post an addition shortly, and a couple of specific ideas to help make the story as a whole more believable. Stay posted. :)

P.S. - I know that some of you might be eye-rolling right now, thinking, "Great, this thread again?" ;) But I seriously think that, if we try, we could actually finish this pretty quickly. All we have to do is finish the story (by that, I mean, stop making more additions by reaching a conclusion, however rough. The rest would simply be polishing and editing). :) )

(*I do not know about all of you but I am sad that this thread keeps languishing on page 2. ;) In other words, I am home for summer break, which means I can actually work on the story again with y'all! I will see if I can post an addition shortly, and a couple of specific ideas to help make the story as a whole more believable. Stay posted. :)* P.S. - I know that some of you might be eye-rolling right now, thinking, "Great, this thread again?" ;) But I seriously think that, if we try, we could actually finish this pretty quickly. All we have to do is finish the story (by that, I mean, stop making more additions by reaching a conclusion, however rough. The rest would simply be polishing and editing). :) )

Oh I know!!! I so want to do stuff with this right now but I am soooooooooo loaded with end of the year school. I have tons of homework so I haven't even been able to practice music, which is very unlike me, and believe me, it's not my first choice AT ALL. Summer will be less stressful, so I'm hoping to come back to this thread only (probably) and help…but that's not until June. I'm sorry I can't help more yet, I really want to! I hate for you to have to everything on your own, especially after everyone decided to help. If you have any ideas, let me know. I'll try to come up with some in my spare time (haha). I might be able to come up with some storylines or something and someone else could write the actual part….idk.

"Did you see that?"

The Baron DuBatz turned sharply around with alarm. "What do you mean?"

Kathryn, seeing the serious expression on the Baron's face, suddenly let out a laugh. It felt good, only it reminded her of Britton, who could always twist his face into so many interesting and funny expressions. "Oh, I am sorry, Sir Du– I mean, Baron Dubatz! I just saw a bird, and it was the most magnificent blue! I think it was a Karmor. I didn't mean to frighten you. I have just always liked birds…"

The Baron smiled. "I understand. I am sure it was a beautiful creature."

"I…I should not have laughed. How…" she paused, her lips beginning to quiver and her face betraying an expression of shame. "How can I be so cruel as to even think of birds when just a few hours ago I watched my truest friend die?"

The Baron, who had been walking in front of Kathryn (he had given his horse to the girl to help her as she regained her strength), turned around and walked toward her. He halted the horse and looked Kathryn steadily in the eye. Slowly, and with the peculiar accent used by the people of the East, he said, "Miss Kathryn, it is one of the greatest gifts of the Almighty that, no matter how dark the clouds may seem, light will still break through and pierce the armor of the clouds." He smiled. "Your friend died to save you. He died that you might be happy and that others might be happy as well. Of course, to jest about that would be wrong, but to forbid laughter or cheer, well, that would certainly not be what he would want. He seems like the type of friend who would be the first to admire the Karmor."

A flood of memories rushed upon Kathryn. She remembered how she and Britton had built river rafts with their friends, how Britton (before Lord Draking had forbidden the practice) had held yearly races at the castle that had been the talk of all the children of Carivia, and with incredible prizes; and how she and Britton had, at Britton's suggestion, switched the chief cook's sugar with salt a few hours before the castle supper. This last memory was among her favorite stories, and she had laughingly told it to the little children of the castle for a long time. Remembering these things, she could not help but smile again. "Perhaps you are right about Britton." Her face suddenly regained its concern. "But what about our task? There are so few of us against the Council. It almost seems as though the real story is between the Council and Lord Traius, rather than between us and the Council. How can we think that we will take Alavaria, and especially laugh and jest as we try to, if the we are but an afterthought?"

The Baron thought for a moment. He took the reins from Kathryn's hands and began leading the horse along. By the look on his face, Kathryn thought that he too had thought about those same things. How could it be possible when the people did not listen, when traitors could arise, and where there were too few leaders?

"Kathryn, what I said about the light is still true. It will break through the darkness, but only if you let it. Joy, or happiness, is a persistent thing: it likes to keep knocking at the door. If, though, you keep locking it, it will eventually cease knocking. It is still there, trying to break through, but avoiding it simply barricades the door and adds to the armor of the clouds. I suppose I mean to say that even now, we can and should laugh. We serve the Almighty, and though we may not carry the day, we should not despair. We cannot deny ourself joy when we serve the joy-giver."

Kathryn nodded. There was much truth in the Baron's words.

He continued. "As to the rest, though, I would say that it does look bleak. Traius seems to be the major player at the moment, distracting the Council. The Count of Omb, though, has not forgotten us. He is going to use all his forces to remove threats to his power, even if they are members of the Council itself; once he does this, he will be free to kill us. it is my belief that, no matter how hard the Council may try to ignore us or focus their attention away, they cannot shake the knowledge that our ideas, our beliefs, are far more deadly to them than a civil war amongst the Council. They know that once we can shake the fear of the people, we shall be as powerful as they. They will do their utmost to stop us and to reinforce their grasp. They, most likely, will succeed for a time, but we must not lose hope. As I said earlier, we have the Almighty on our side."

Again, Kathryn nodded. The Baron DuBatz had given her much to think about. "Maybe Britton's sacrifice was not worthless," she thought. She had been struggling with the idea that Britton's sacrifice and bravery, while it may have saved her life and the lives of others, was ultimately in vain because she and they would only succumb to the power of the Council of Omb. Now, she believed, there was actually a chance. She gave another laugh, and that one felt even more refreshing.

"Well," the Baron continued, giving a wink to Kathryn, "it looks like we shall have to spread some joy throughout our group. Going towards the South, I thought, would be an encouraging thing. After all, we should be able to re-group and re-organize. But just look at Count Rowan, depressed as…as a shovel."

Kathryn giggled at the clumsy description, but as she looked at Count Rowan, riding the last horse in the long line, she felt that it fit perfectly. "Count Rowan," she asked, "what is the matter?"

Rowan turned sharply around, placing his hand upon his sword hilt as he did so. For a long time, he had been deep in thought, scarcely thinking about the path his feet took. He bore a deep-rooted expression of anguish, and his usually smooth, kindly face was broken by wrinkles that told of an intense inward struggle, or debate, within himself.

The sharp look he gave Kathryn in his surprise was stinging, and she looked away.

Embarrassed, the Count called forward, "I am sorry, Kathryn. There…has been much on my mind. I did not know it was you."
Kathryn expressed her forgiveness, but Rowan seemed not to hear. A calm came over his face, and he drew back the reins of his horse, bringing it to a halt as the line continued to move forward.

Seeing what was happening, Kathryn turned and rode up to the motionless horse, the Baron following on foot.

"Is there a problem, Count? We won't make it to Ralgosor by the time Lady Arwen hopes if we do not hurry."

Count Rowan sat up a little straighter. "I…am not going to Ralgosor."

"Wait!" The Baron started, " what do you mean? That is our course."

"Not for me. I am going back to Carivia."

"Carivia! Why would you want to go back"

"There is something I need to do. Lives and our safety are at stake."

Kathryn jumped in. "But the battle is long over by now. It was over by the time I found you. Sir Denvoir and his men were able to get through."

"No. They may have gotten through, but they cannot have won so easily. There is something Lord Traius knows, and that I know, that will have changed the course of the battle, I am sure. Sir Denvoir has not triumphed, and if Lord Traius has not already won and killed all, the fighting has stopped, with Sir Denvoir, unwillingly, on his side, along with the convicts you spoke of." Rowan paused. His voice had grown more animated as he spoke, and now he lowered it to a whisper. "I think I know how to stop Lord Traius, but if the worst comes to the worst, I will fight him single-handedly to protect the land from more violence at his hand. I know you are surprised, but I only just decided upon this, what you might call dangerous, path. You must not let the others know until it is impossible to keep it concealed. I do not think Lady Arwen and the rest would allow me to do what must be done."

The Baron stuttered, "but - Rowan, this - this is what we need. The Council shedding the Council's blood. It gives us time to organize and -"

"Baron, we must never, if possible, permit the shedding of blood. What I am trying to do will help save it. The Almighty will protect us."

With that, Count Rowan turned his horse and began slowly making his way to the North. All the while, he was watched by an anxious Baron and a hopeful handmaiden.

(You killed Britton?!?!?!?! How could you?! :D This is really a great addition though, very emotional and sweet. Love it! :) )

(Thanks! Not necessarily, though…Kathryn thinks he is dead, but we could keep him alive if we want. :D )

(Thanks! Not necessarily, though…Kathryn thinks he is dead, but we could keep him alive if we want. :D )

(That's a good idea. :D I don't know, whatever you think is best, really!! Have you written other books before? You're really good at this)

(Ah! "As depressed as a shovel" xP I'll have to find some time to use that!! xP Great post!)

this is amazing! i have some questions though.

1. what is the title of the story? the story that never ends? that sounds a little boring to me like if i were to see it on the cover of a book but that may be just me.

2. is this a new chapter, section separated by ~~~~~ or just the next like paragraph

3. how do you pronounce Omb is the b at the end silent or what.

and if we were to get this published (which would be awesome!) would lady ariana be the author or would we all create a pen name for the community that helped with the story? i personally favor the last one but again just my opinion.

1. There is a name for this…or a couple being decided on…but I can't remember what it is.

(Thanks! Here are my answers to your questions:

1. As of right now (not written in stone), the title is Prince of the Fallen: A Tale of the Nobles of Alavaria. It might change, though, depending on what we think works best with how the story turns out.

2. This, I think, will be the last part/ section of Chapter 17 (the rest of which can be found on page 81).

3. Omb I always pronounced with a mostly silent "b." It sounds like "home" but with more of a stop at the end to signify the 'b," if that makes sense.

EDIT (Oops! :) ) 4. I had not given this much thought, actually. Your idea of a pseudonym or a pen-name sounds really good, though. Of course, we should acknowledge Annalysa as the initiator of the story. :)

By the way, all, I had some ideas/suggestions I am hoping to share later today regarding making the story and the characters a bit more believable. I would like to see what you all think, but I wanted to give a heads-up. :) )

What about the author question?

i think this should be the beginning of a new chapter because 17 is already really long plus it kinda changes scenes from the brooding Count of Omb to riding through the woods with kathryn.

O.K., Then! That makes a lot of sense. :)

EDIT I switched it. :)

so on page 82 there is an addition where does this go? i copied the story to my computers word processor and the last thing i have is the count of Omb exhaling darkly and saying "melkior."

O.K., Then! That makes a lot of sense. :) *EDIT* I switched it. :)

yeah i think that she should get credit but a lot of other people did help so maybe she can think up like a first name and then the rest of us could think up a last name or something like that. or maybe the pseudonym could be Annalysa _____ to honor her i like the sound of Annalysa. it would give the cover an intriguing sense i think.

O.K., Then! That makes a lot of sense. :) *EDIT* I switched it. :)

yeah i think that she should get credit but a lot of other people did help so maybe she can think up like a first name and then the rest of us could think up a last name or something like that. or maybe the pseudonym could be Annalysa _________ to honor her i like the sound of Annalysa. it would give the cover an intriguing sense i think.

I think he was referring to making that part the beginning of a new chapter.

i quoted the wrong post i meant to quote the one he edited.where he answered my questions

(The additions posted after page 81 I edited into the post on page 81. The post you saw on page 82 can be found earlier in chapter 17, I think. The only post that has not been added yet is one made by Hannah Wa. that we are saving until later (it refers to the death of Lord Arsoth, the story behind which should be a bit more drawn out, she thought).)

(Hi, guys! By the way, this is a rather long post. You do not have to read it all at once. ;)

Here are some suggestions/ideas that I have. Feel free to add your own. By the way, I understand that a lot of you are in the midst of school and are getting ready for the Bible Bee (huzzah!). Do not feel pressure to help if you do not want to. This is just a fun project, so do not think you have to keep up with everything or post every day. ;) Please feel free to get involved if you want to, though, and if you do decide to help, it doesn't have to be a steady thing (just a post or a comment now and then would be awesome). What you contribute does not have to be perfect. We can edit your ideas, keeping your proposals and dialogue but helping you out so you don't have to worry about perfect grammar, understanding of the plot, etc.). :)

1. O.K., for all who are thinking about posting/contributing, I would encourage you to do two things. First, page 81 contains the story as it is written so far. You do not have to read the whole thing, if you don't want to. ;) Just starting from chapter 15 or so would give you a good background. Second (and this especially applies to those who have already contributed but find it difficult to know exactly what is going on with everyone and where to go next), go to page 82, and there is a helpful post that says where each important character is at the moment (it is being updated as we go.) It also has some ideas for future posts. It would be really helpful, I think.

2. As for actual suggestions, I had a couple. First, I think that we ought to make an effort to avoid cookie-cutter characters in our story. By that, I mean that it often seems like the good guys all sound the same and the bad guys all sound the same. Both in language and in action, they act almost alike. I think it adds an important layer of depth if each character has a backstory, a struggle, and a couple defining characteristics. We want each character to be unique, and this is a very helpful way to make each one so. If we could look throughout the story (page 82's list of surviving characters to begin with), we can post character backstory's, one thing the character struggles with, and two or so interesting characteristics. This does not necessarily have to be done at the same time.

For instance, I could, if I had an idea, just post,

"The Count of Terema was born with the name Kargator at the foot of the Kolgarriat mountains to his parents, the Count and Countess of Terema. While his parents were kind and caring, they had little time for their son and did not trouble to spend much time with him during his childhood. While this might have made him lonely, the young Count (Kargator) made friends with the people of the village that lay outside the castle walls. His greatest friend was a young baker, with whom he would constantly laugh and play. The baker taught him cheerfulness. Another friend was a hunter, who taught him both to ride and to use weapons. One day he spent an entire night in a tree with the young hunter surrounded by a pack of wolves, which afterwards made him very thoughtful about life, though he never lost his cheer. His parents died right after he turned 17, which was a great blow."

It does not have to be as big or detailed, though you could make it even bigger if you wanted. :)

Another person could post something like,

"Count of Terema's struggle: Regrets never having known his parents and never having the chance to."

Another could write,

"Count of Terema special characteristics: "Constant cheer, has four fingers on his right hand, likes roast pig." hahaha.

I just want to make the story deeper than it might seem. There needs to be people that you can relate to, villains that the reader will despise and good guys the reader will love. In my opinion, not all the characters should be perfect. Their flaws should seep through at different times. This is a good way to do so, I think, and would help to add to the story's believability.

1. All our characters seem rather intelligent. It would be nice if we could make one that is perpetually unintelligent (or what some would call a fool). A fool is always an interesting character to read about in a book, and he tends to gain the reader's pity and love early on. Also, he is often wise at the times when everyone seems to be on the wrong track (out of the mouths of babes ;) ). Plus, such a character helps the author's immensely, for an unintelligent character needs in-depth explanations in order to understand things, which can really help avoid awkward breaks in the story for description, if that makes sense.

If you guys like that idea, it would be nice to know how many of you want to write in a new character throughout the story or re-wrte an existing character to be the (perhaps wise) fool. And, if so, do you have any suggestions as to his name or which character?

1. It would be nice to have the geography of the country a bit more solidified. If someone want to, we could either draw a map and post it somehow, or make a detailed post describing where all the place names are. That way, we can all understand better who is where and the time it takes to get from place to place. Would anyone like to help with that?

2. This comes from one of my Bible Bee friends: "Avoid the Dark Lord stereotype. Basically try to avoid the villain just sitting back and just sending his villains out to kill the heroes. Tolkien and countless other fantasy authors have already done this. Try to make the villain more interesting and less one-dimensional." I think we should brainstorm some way to accomplish this with the Count of Omb (such as re-write him so that he is in more of the action, or re-write him so hat he at least moves around more and musters support.)

These are some of my idea, and I would love to hear your thoughts. :)

(That was a great long post. I totally agree and would love to help with the character backgrounds, of course, after May 31st. I'd especially like to do Britton's and maybe Kathryn's, unless Emily wanted to. Oh, and William. I have an idea for William and Kathryn. :)

The Dark Lord stereotype is definitely something we want to avoid, I hadn't even though about it. Maybe having the Count of Omb in the woods on a horse and observing the battle from a distance. {Now I'm thinking of this in a movie-maker's sense} He mutters something to himself about everything going as planned, or whatever (sorry, if that's the wrong thing, then forgive me because I really need to brush up on the story - I will as soon as school is over) and then rides off to his fortress. IDK, that might be one way to get him more involved.

Pen name: I don't want my name to be on the cover since a lot of people have helped, I don't think it would really be fair. I mean, I know I started this but recently, I haven't been as involved and I think Jimmy has done an immense part of the work, much more than I could have dreamed of doing. Really, I was thinking something like a combination of several people's names, or having it written by "two" authors but really the first and last names of several different people. Such as using Jimmy's first name and Emily's last, my first name and someone else's last name, or something like that.

Maps: This category will probably have my name completely erased because I am not an artist. I am serious, I had to come up with a new island, it's names, river locations, mountain locations, etc. It took me (and I'm not kidding) probably close to 6-8 hours to draw 8 maps. it really wasn't supposed to take long but it did. And that was me just using my imagination. Me trying to draw a map according to written descriptions would be a disaster. Just sayin'. :D

I have to say I love the idea of a wise fool. I think it would actually be funny to add someone else in and make him lighten the mood. IDK who it would be or who he would be with but I love the idea. Brilliant.

Perhaps making Lord Drakin a little more like Dr. Blackgaard (AIO reference, for those of you who don't know), more calm, subtle, and very, very creepy and Lord Traius more like the evil villain we think, or vice versa. Just an idea.

Great job - thanks so much for your work!)

(No, no, go ahead a do Kathryn!! I hadn't thought of anything for her:)

(About Lord Drakin…NO!! He can't be like Dr. Blackgaard!! Lord Drakin is supposed to be an evil and cruel warrior! ;-)

(@Rosie: I'm thinking Lord Traius could be the evil and cruel warrior…just a thought tho.)

(@Rosie: I'm thinking Lord Traius could be the evil and cruel warrior...just a thought tho.)

(to me Lord Traius seems more evil and cruel but Drakin seems more…I don't know, devious? xP

(Thanks for your response!

The hard thing is that the story has SO MANY BAD GUYS! They are also all pretty important. We have to find different shades and types of evil for each one, if that makes sense. I like the whole Dr. Blackgaard description, but I actually think that it almost works better for the Count of Omb. He is willing to do and commit evil, but he is almost gentlemanly about it. Lord Drakin maybe should possess more outright, cold, raw cruelty. Lord Traius, as you said, works well as an evil and cruel warrior, who does not fear getting his own hands dirty to get what he wants. Sir Denvoir is on the side of bad, but he has second thoughts perhaps, and at least has some idea of honor. Lord Melkior is concerned chiefly with the power struggle, perhaps. He just wants to avoid death while at the same time take the Count of Omb's place (willing to do most anything). Lord Arsoth is evil, but he is subservient to the Count of Omb and is focused upon killing the nobles.

I don't know, it seems difficult to make each different. Evil does take different forms, though. :) )

Edit: ^^^^ Or that. :)

(Okay, Lord Drakin is devious ((good word, Em :))…Lord Traius is an evil and cruel warrior ((and betrayer to Lord Drakin)). :)

(Well, it never hurts to start. I took most of this from around chapter 5, I think. :)

Lady Makennah Background: Raised in the peaceful town of Ambrest – peaceful, that is, until the Council had conquered it through treachery (she was to marry a dashing young man, but after the wedding ceremony revealed himself as a servant of the Council)– is unused to combat at the beginning of the story, serves as a leader due to her close friendship with King Archen and the trust he has in her. Lady Makennah knows what it meant to protect friends at whatever the cost. She had lost her two younger brothers to a wolf on their first excursion to the forest beyond Ambrest’s walls, and she had always promised herself that, if she ever had the chance, she would never left anyone she knew suffer the same horrible fate.

Struggle: Vulnerability, lack of hope, and regret. She was crushed by the man she loved, and regrets the death of those with whom she was closest.

Special characteristics: Uses the bow (exceptionally rare in Alavaria for reasons we should probably explain), is exceptionally dedicated to all members of the Order, loves horses, longs for the war to be over so that she may one day return to Ambrest forever and talk with the people, loves the color orange, and wants to die surrounded by future grandchildren. :)

I am making a list on page 82 that says what we have done so far. Once we are done (it won't take long!), we can incorporate these things into the story.

(That was really good. I was thinking, as I went back and read some of the story, that when she kills the wolves after they attacked Sir Doran, she should be really emotional, kind of reliving that moment when her brothers died. Not long, but just alluding to that. I'm still trying to more background on Britton and Kathryn since I haven't read the story in so long, so I'll probably post something on Saturday. :))

(O.K. I will try to put that in a bit more (also, more throughout the entire story itself).

I will be looking forward to it. By the way, do you have any name suggestions for the wise fool? :) )

(Not yet. But as soon as I do, I'll post it.)

Sir Myles
Background:
Sir Myles was the only son to a young farm girl. She had run away from home to marry a handsome young man who had made it his profession to relieve weary travelers of all their worldly goods. And if said weary travelers took offense to his service, he would relieve them of their weary lives as well. Before he was born, Sir Myles’ father had been arrested by King Archen’s men and sentenced to death by King Archen and his counselors. Young Myles was very bitter against the King for what he called the “murdering his father” and his bitterness soon turned to outright hatred. His habit was to vent his anger by practicing swordsmanship. He participated in many competitions and was hailed as one of the best swordsman in Alavaria. When King Archen was forced off his throne, Myles was one of the first men to join the order. Not for any love he felt toward them or their cause, but because he felt this was the best way to strike the King a blow where it would most hurt. Also the thought that if he served the counsel well he would receive a high position and title in their government sure didn’t hurt his decision to put himself in the potentially dangerous position of a spy. The honorary title of “sir” was bestowed upon Myles by the Order to show the great respect they had for him.

Struggle:
Bitterness, anger and pride.

Special Characteristics:
An expert swordsman and a surprisingly good liar. The first character flaw people usually notice about him is his pride for he doesn’t mind telling what he thinks of himself. And quite often his boasting isn’t empty. Likes fancy clothes xP

(Please tell me if there's anything I need to change…also there's that part about how he recognizes Ronan as prince…so we should probably say how he would be in a position to know, or at least guess, that.)

(No, that is perfect! Great job! :) )

(Okay, great, thank!:) EDIT: I'm working on a couple others, hopefully I can finish them tonight or tomorrow)

The Count of Omb
Background: The Count of Omb was born to loving parents in the castle of Omb. He was raised to be loyal to Alavaria, to the king, and his family, and for a long time he served them well. Omb, under his rule, became the most beautiful of all the cities in Alavaria, and he enjoyed leaning out from his windows and gazing upon it. His father had died when he was sixteen, and he, as a result, became close to his mother. Through some tragic and terrible accident, however, one of King Archen's friends killed the mother of the count of Omb, and he became exceptionally bitter from that time forward. When the king tried to console him, the Count burst out in anger and demanded never to see King Archen or any of his friends in his city again. He began to expect that every death (even the earlier death of his father) was orchestrated from King Archen. The count gained a reputation for violence, and King Archen declared him a fugitive of justice. Suddenly, though, the Count put on a civil air. He was constantly calm and did not lash out as he had done. King Archen hoped that he was pulling out of his anger. However, the Count was merely buying time for a great plot. He found eight other nobles as slighted as he, and with their assistance, secretly began gathering armies in the far west and in the middle of key fortresses. The Count wavered at the last minute, but he gave the order and unleashed his forces upon the country. He hated his earlier life, and he was determined to wipe it out. It was his idea to change the name of the kingdom to Kornaiden. Still, he could not bear to much change the city of his youth, and Omb retained its beauty, though tainted now by evil. While he says that the Council is equal, he knew that it would eventually give him more and more power. From the beginning, he intended to use it to kill the King and his followers. Increasingly, though, he liked his power and wanted to retain it for its own sake. His greatest fears are having the "murderer King Archen" back on the throne and Lord Melkior. He also fears the hatred of the people. Even now, he wishes that he was a loved ruler. He sometimes thinks about becoming a kind and benevolent ruler, but he always shoves that thought away quickly.

Sruggle: Grief for the loss of those he loves. Desire to maintain beauty in a kingdom of death and destruction. Maintaining his temper.

Special Characteristics: Wears gloves and is very dignified. Not a good swordsman, but excellent with a dagger or an axe (a strange combination with his gloves and dignity!). Prefers the indoors, but has no fear, to fight on the front lines when necessary. Is left-handed. Has dark eyes that appear almost red in bright light.

(Ahh…that's great!)

(Ahh...that's great!)

(Here is one for Sir Elviron. And again, please tell me if there's anything I should change)

Sir Elviron Background:
Sir Elviron was the youngest son of five children and spent his childhood chopping wood and roaming the hill country surrounding his home. His family was neither poor nor rich, but they were very happy together and they were a lower part of the ruling class. Elviron much preferred taking long tramps into the forest to watch graceful deer and bumbling bees than play with the local boys. He was a rather quiet lad, and usually very calm, but had a time of trying to be patient and keep his temper when he felt he or someone he cared for had been wronged.

Struggle:
Patience and not firing up at people during disagreements.

Special Characteristics:
A fair swordsman, but no expert. Of a strong build and packs a powerful punch. Loves watching animals. Misses his family terribly and hopes of the war to be over soon so he can return to his home.

(Hi Everyone! I'm back :P. Here is the background on Lord Melkior)

Lord Melkior

Background: Melkior was born to poor nobles of little influence in the kingdom. Even from an early age he had always had a jealous and power-hungry mind. Once he had slapped his friend to the ground and stole his toys and said, as a noble, he could have anything he wanted. As he grew older he fell in line with some less than respectable young men from the village and began to do wrong doings such as stealing and terrorizing the village at night. When Melkior was in his early twenties his hunger for power grew into a rage. His father had started having more influence in the kingdom, his money grew, and the king had let him into his council of advisors. Melkior craved the power in the country and claimed he would do anything to get that power. And he did. In the night, Melkior killed his father with a struggle. After successfully blaming the death on someone else, Melkior then gained the title Lord Melkior. Melkior, in a fit of rage at one of the meetings of the advisors of the king, he tried to murder the Duke of Assen with a dagger as he sat at the table and told Melkior that he could no longer be a council member because of his wrong doings and his earlier acknowledgement that he did not follow the Almighty. After his fit of anger at the Duke of Assen, He fled the castle and met up with The Count of Omb, who, as Melkior later discovered, had the same views as he. He helped the Count and raised armies with the help of others to over take Alavaria.

Stuggle: The death of his father. Though he outwardly boasted of it afterward it had always haunted him and made him afraid one day his fate would be the same. His tongue often gets him in trouble. Power hungry.

Special Characteristics:
Melkior’s presence fills the room. He had a stocky build, and a somewhat slang manner of talking which comes when his angry. He loves to use sarcasm. He has a large scar running from his forehead to his shoulder, which is a reminder of the night he killed his father

(Nice job, Hannah!! :D)

(Here's Sir Denvoir's)

Sir Denvoir Background:
Sir Denvoir was the eldest of three boys and, while his father was home, the boys were raised under almost Spartan-like conditions. Denvoir’s father tried to take care of them best he knew how after the death of his wife but was more the part of a drill sergeant than a father. He taught his boys to obey authority, suppress emotion and be duty driven. Denvoir was often left in charge of his brothers while their father was away fighting wars. He learned to make hard decisions quickly and have the fortitude to carry them out. A few years prior to the story’s beginning, Sir Denvior had come to Alavaria to learn more perfectly the arts of war. Though rather young for the position, he was quickly made a commander of a small body of the Council’s soldiers when the Council took over the land.

Struggle:
He gets so focused with the task at hand and performing his duty well that he thinks of nothing else. He never thought of compassion and kindness as “unmanly” but often got so wrapped up in what he was doing he ceased to remember them. He became so focused on duty he became more of a robot and ceased to really live.

Special Characteristics:
A good commander to his small body of troops. He treated his men well but firmly. There was no question as to who was in charge. He was naturally a rather eloquent speaker. He wasn’t tall, but he still had a commanding presence. Determined to accomplish what he has set out to do no matter what. Sings off key and is a terrible cook.