Jokes :)

Heeeeeeeey I was thinking xD
In reply to Rosie

Oh, I'm sorry! Maybe my answer is wrong though.

What occurs once every minute, twice every moment, but never in a thousand years?

Uh huh. x)

@ Rosie C. an "m"

@Voice of Reason- Buzzer rings In a announcers voice We have a winner!

This is one you have to read several times. There will be no answer.

An orchestra was playing Beethoven's Ninth Symphony. In this song the three baseist have a long time in which they don't play anything. So they decided to go out to dinner during the concert. Well, the day for the concert came, and everything went as planned, but before one of the baseist left he tied the conductor's ninth page of his score together. So they went out for dinner, and they ate and ate and ate and ate until they all fell asleep. One of the baseist woke up, and after trying to wake up his fellow baseists, couldn't wake them up. So he went on without them. When he got back the conductor glared at him. Why? Because it was the bottom of the ninth, the score was tied, and two of the three baseists were out.

Do you get it?

If not read it again.

Lol, I know just enough about baseball to think that that is referring to it. =P

Good job, Emily! My sister told me this years and years ago and it was so good I wrote it down.

Yeah, it's pretty funny. xD And I'm sure it would be more so if I really knew what those baseball things meant. =P

There are nine innings in a game. The score was tied. Two out of three batters were out. A base is what you run around.

Uh-huh, but "out" means…they striked out three times, and so they only had one batter left who could play?

Right.

What do you yell as you throw a piano down a mineshaft?

LOL, I got it, Rosie. I've heard it before.

There is one similar but its not quite this one. But give it a shot, since no one else has guessed.

Oh, no, I mean I got the baseball one. No idea what the answer to the other one is.

Oh, ok. The answer to the other one. Is "C sharp or B flat."

LOL!!!

I have lots of jokes for you all:*

1. Why didn't the sun need to go to college?
2. What can you serve but never eat?
3. What did the blanket say to the bed?
4. Why is basketball such a messy sport?
5. What is the best thing to put in a cake?
6. What did baby corn say to mama corn?

_{*These jokes are not mine. Some of them I have slightly changed though.}

1. 1. Because you have to shoot the basket?
2. 1. Quit being corny? haha

Sorry, neither of those are correct. But still good answers!
And here's a list of riddles that I'm trying to figure out the answers to, so please help me!

1. Why did the police arrest the turkey?
2. What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
3. Why did the turkey play drums in his band?

1. 1. Because he has drumsticks?

Oh, maybe! Thanks!

@Mommy's Helper: 1. 'Cause he was already brilliant? 2. A volleyball! 3. "Don't worry! I've got you covered!" 4. 'Cause he was shot? 5. Your teeth! 6. "Where's Pop-corn?"

1. They suspected it of fowl play! xP 2. "Quack, quack, quack!" 3. 'Cause he already had drumsticks…Rosie's right. =) (I cheated on a few of them and looked them up on the internet…xP but I didn't cheat on the Sun one, or the volleyball one, or the basketball one, or the corn one;)

If Abraham Lincoln went to Washington wearing a white winter coat while his wife waited in Wilmington, how many 'w's are there in all?

Teacher: What's the difference between ignorance and apathy?
Student: I don't know, and I don't care.

@Brianna- Umm… The grand total of does quick math (has anybody noticed that I use that a lot?) ZERO!

@Mommy's Helper: 1. 'Cause he was already brilliant? No, sorry. 2. A volleyball! Correct! 3. "Don't worry! I've got you covered!" Right again! 4. 'Cause he was shot? No, sorry. 5. Your teeth! Correct! 6. "Where's Pop-corn?" Right! 1. They suspected it of fowl play! xP 2. "Quack, quack, quack!" 3. 'Cause he already had drumsticks...Rosie's right. =) (I cheated on a few of them and looked them up on the internet...xP but I didn't cheat on the Sun one, or the volleyball one, or the basketball one, or the corn one:)

Good answers on the ones I didn't know!

1. Oh, I know now! xP xD 4. Oh now I know that one too! xP xP

Here's two: 1. Why was the frog on the baseball team? 2. Why did the policeman go to the baseball game? By the way, Eirene got my cow with two legs joke right (page 22).

What's the difference between a flea and an elephant?
A teacher and a train?

Rosie and Hannah– And what happens when the piano lands in the mineshaft?

Eirene: A train only has one eye "i"? xP idk

Sarah: It gets broken.

Hannah: Nope.

It E's(Is) flat.

Hannah: Nope. xP A teacher says "Don't chew", and a train says "chew chew!"

What grows up as it grows down?
Why do dragons sleep during the day?
Why don't eggs tell each other jokes?

1. Potatoes?
2. I don't know. I'll think about it.
3. Because they'll crack up?

1. No…though I suppose that might work…xP
2. Yup! They'd crack each other up! =)

My little brother (JoshuaB) wants you to hear this joke, Where do astronauts keep their sandwiches?

What happened after the man accidentally dropped his coffee in the volcano?

@Rachelle- to the second one - Did he get grounded?

The answer to the second one is: Java came out. lol XD

Rosie: Good guess, but no. It's A flat minor.

Why did the bear eat the lamp?

1. When is baseball first mentioned in the bible?
2. When is tennis first mentioned in the bible?
3. Who was the shortest man in the bible?

Ahh, I've heard all of these before… But I can't remember the answers…

1. Zacchaeus? IDK

Brianna:

1. In the "big inning" (beginning)
2. I should probably know, but I don't. xP
3. Knee-high-miah (Nehemiah)