Jokes :)

Started by Dani(elle)
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Bethany Meckle

Boss, trying to sound tough to the new employee: OK, so around here we only call people by their last names. What's your last name?
New Guy: Um, just call me John.
Boss: No, that's not the way we do it here. If your name's Matthew Smith, we call you "Smith." Give me your last name.
New Guy: Please, just call me John. Really.
Boss (getting mad): We're calling you by your last name! Tell me your last name!
New Guy: My name is John Darling.

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biblebee

Whether the weather be cold,
or whether the weather be hot.
Whether the weather be cool,
or whether the weather be warm.
We'll weather the weather whatever the weather, whether we like it or not.

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Dani(elle)

Whether the weather be cold, or whether the weather be hot. Whether the weather be cool, or whether the weather be warm. We'll weather the weather whatever the weather, whether we like it or not.

That's cool. :) lol

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2 Corinthians 5:17

The lady walking ahead of me sped up, so I did. She began walking faster and faster so I did. Then she started running so I did. Then, she started screaming, so I did! I don't know what we were running from, but I was terrified.
:D :P

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Bethany Meckle

You only need 2 tools: -WD-40 and Duct tape If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40 If it moves and shouldn't, use duct tape.

Ha ha, my dad uses that one a lot. :)

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2 Corinthians 5:17

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?" The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fixes his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it was, but the monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk."The man says, "All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?"The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk."The man sets about his task. Forty five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery.He says, "I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for.There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth."The monks reply, "Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound." The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is right behind that door."The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, "May I have the key?" The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, "This is the last key to the last door."The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound.But I can't tell you what it is, because you're not a monk!!! :P

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biblebee

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE pitiful face

Wait…if I tell you how many blades of grass there are and how many sand pebbles do I get to know? There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219, 999,129,382

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Margaret Eddy

That is Dad's special joke. He has a bunch of really long interesting ones that sometimes he doesn't have time to tell, so he uses that one. It is pretty funny the first time you hear it but by now the whole church is pretty tired of it.

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Margaret Eddy

He is great, awesome, wonderful, marvelous, and furthermore, he's a pastor! Being able to be fun(ny) comes in especially handy with a job like that.

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