Jokes :)

He is great, awesome, wonderful, marvelous, and furthermore, he's a pastor! Being able to be fun(ny) comes in especially handy with a job like that.

agrees violently with all of the above

sometime, I'll take the trouble to type out his golfing with Moses joke…that's one of my favorites.

facepalm Not sure if I like that joke…

Lol!

God's very judgmental. Gangsters who stay gangsters don't go to heaven. Jesus knows everything. You can't steal stuff from heaven. Just a few problems I found with that "joke".

Your right but it was ment to b light hearted an obviously not taken as seriously as u took it. :)

*facepalm* Not sure if I like that joke...

DITTO!

I agree.

Come on ya'll! Ur probably making Stefani feel horrible! It wasn't ment to be taken seriously!

Thanks Danielle. …..
The joke is meant to prove a point to those who think that God let's everyone into heaven.
It is said in complete sarcasm…….I'll delete it though if you guys don't like it :(

Well… I liked it. I liked it enough that I read it to my mom.

Thanks ! You and Danielle are on my good list…….

Can I be on the good list too, even though I might agree with the 'anti-jokers', but not say so,…. jk

Actually all the people on me verse are on the good list…..I was just joking.

Thank. :) I hope ur not offended I think I can speak for them that they didn't mean to. O_o

I'm sorry if I seemed a little unnecessarily stiff, but I really tend to dislike jokes that wrongly portray God. I honestly don't see why jokes need to be made about that. But I'm sorry if I offended anyone by my comment.

I'm not at all offended….and you are probably right

What has a bed but never sleeps, and runs but never walks?

A river!

Yup! :D

What travels in all directions, but never touches land or sky?

This is SO funny…I didn't get it right at first but then I laughed so hard! :D :P

LOL :D!

What?

LOL!

A fish. :)

Message on hair dryer: "Do not use in shower."

A lady and her family were remodeling in their house, so they were all sleeping together in the living room with the window open. That night, the little boy wakes his mom up because there is a mosquito flying around his head. So, the mom gets up, grabs the Bug Repellant, then sprays it all around the kids' sleeping bags and the window sill. In the morning, she realizes that she grabbed the wrong bottle - blue spray paint!! :D
~from "Touched by an Angle" by Ray Comfort

A blonde walked into a restaurant. The first thing she said was, "Ouch."

A blonde was asked which was farther - the moon or Florida. "Florida, obviously! I mean, you can even SEE the moon from here!"

(I'm blonde and totally act like it, by the way :))

I consider 'blondes' to be girls who DYED their hair. (the chemicals seeped into their brain, creating damage and confusion)

Just sayin' cause I've met some pretty smart blondes

Agreed.

I've never dyed my hair, and my hair isn't really blonde, but my family says I'm blonde at heart, I kinda act blonde sometimes.

I've never dyed my hair, and my hair isn't really blonde, but my family says I'm blonde at heart, I kinda act blonde sometimes.

Lol, me too. :)

Lady 1: I'm pretty proud of myself. My garden did extremely well this year. I was particularly pleased with this bed of bushy plants with the small white flowers. They grew just like weeds.
Lady 2: There's a reason for that.
Lady 1: What? You mean these are weeds, not flowers?
Lady 2: That's right.
Lady 1: But they're so pretty, are you sure?
Lady 2: Pretty sure. And it looks like they've spread over into your neighbor's yard, too.
Lady 1: Ahh… No wonder he gives me dirty looks when I water them.

Why did the scarecrow win a medal?

to attract the crows (birds like shiny objects)
LOL Jk
He scared all the crows away??

Because he was so scary? :P JK

He was outstanding in his field!

What did Tennessee, that Arkansas never saw? :P (I sort of made this up, so hope it makes sense :)

Probably a New Jersey. ;D

@Above conversation–I would like blonde jokes better if they weren't BLONDE jokes. :P Why not… uh, blue-haired jokes? Obviously those people aren't too bright. :P

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL! Okay here you go then

Blue-haired daughter: Dad, what time is it?
Dad: 7:15 pm
Blue-haired daughter: looking confused Every time I ask someone that question I get a different answer.

I consider 'blondes' to be girls who DYED their hair. (the chemicals seeped into their brain, creating damage and confusion)

Agreed!!!!!!!!!
Everybody who thinks blondes are dumb, be careful what you say. I'm blonde.

I've seen some pretty smart blondes as well (myself included ;)
But, do any of you watch the show Market Warriors?
'Cause one of the Warriors dyes her hair blonde and she is the 2nd best warrior!

Message on hair dryer: "Do not use in shower." --- A lady and her family were remodeling in their house, so they were all sleeping together in the living room with the window open. That night, the little boy wakes his mom up because there is a mosquito flying around his head. So, the mom gets up, grabs the Bug Repellant, then sprays it all around the kids' sleeping bags and the window sill. In the morning, she realizes that she grabbed the wrong bottle - blue spray paint!! :D ~from "Touched by an Angle" by Ray Comfort

LOL

Message on alligator cage at zoo:
"Do not climb over fences. If you climb over the fences, the alligators might eat you, and that might make them sick."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three men were running away from the police. They came to a farm. One man ran into the chicken coop. Another man ran into the pig sty. The last man ran into the potato cellar. Then the police come to the farm. They listened at the chicken coop, but they only heard "cluck cluck cluck". So they ran on to the pig sty, and they only heard "oink oink oink". So they ran to the potato cellar, and they heard "potato potato potato".

10 Fun Facts 1. You can't wash your eyes with soap 2. You can't count your hair 3. You can't breathe through your nose, with your tongue out 4. You just tried no. 3 6. When you did no. 3 you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog 7. You're smiling right now, because you were fooled 8. You skipped no. 5 9. You just checked to see if there is a no. 5 10. I love these things!

I TTLY did all that. Lol :)

Me too!! I read down the list, and when I got to no. 3, I tried it. I looked at no. 4 and laughed out loud. At no. 6 I laughed even harder. At no. 7 I laughed even harder. At no. 8 I laughed even harder, then looked back and saw that there was no no. 5. At no. 9 I laughed even harder. At no. 10, I just shook my head and kept laughing. :D :D

That's exactly what I did! :)

Ditto!! LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Same here!!!!!! LOL

soo funny!!!!!!!!! LOL

Lol!

lol.

LOL!!! Funny.

A lady's neighbor asks her if she will feed her fish while she's gone. The lady accepts, and says that her son will do it. When the neighbor comes back, the lady says,

"I've got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that my son fed your fish!"

The neighbor replies, "What's the bad news?"

"He fed them to the cat."

Lol