Jokes :)

Started by Dani(elle)
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Courtney M.

Four elderly ladies were recounting their golfing trip of the day as they prepared to go home. First lady: "I didn't do so well today - I only had four riders." Second lady: "I did better than last time. I had five riders!" Third lady: "I had about the same as always, seven riders." Fourth lady: "I did better than I ever have before! I had ten riders!"
As they went into the ladies locker room, an experienced golfer went up to the receptionist and said: "I've been playing golf for thirty years and thought I knew all the terminology associated with golf, but what in the world is a rider?" The receptionist answered, "A rider occurs when you hit the ball far enough to get in the golf cart and ride to it."

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Daughter of the king

Here goes…

3.What is the difference between a cat and a match?-A cat lights on its feet, but a match lights on its head.
4.What grows up while it grows down?-A duckling!
6.Why are snakes so smart?-You can't pull it's leg!
7.Why do giraffes have such little appetites?-With them a little goes a long way!
10.Which is richer, a bull or a cow?-A bull. A cow GIVES you milk, but a bull CHARGES you!

LOL!!

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Caleb

There was a man who told ten puns to his friends to see if any would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

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Caleb

Does this have anything to do with eating, shooting, and leaving?

Yep, because a Panda eats shoots and leaves. :D

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Rose Tyler

Does this have anything to do with eating, shooting, and leaving?
Yep, because a Panda eats shoots and leaves. :D

LOL!

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Matthew Minica

Before I forget, I wanted to post these two jokes I came up with. At least I think I did. If they're too cheesy, let me know. :P

A professional golfer stayed barely ahead in score throughout most of a championship match. However, on the last hole he missed a putt not once, but twice, landing him a bogey. His opponent got a birdie on that same hole and won the match.
Afterward, when the golfer was asked what he thought of the game, he replied, "All I can say is, it was just two bad."

And here's a question: Why couldn't the tenor sing the song about the train?

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Matthew Minica

Matthew, do you have the sheet music to _Hasty_ (the song you sent me)? If so, can you send the sheet music to me?

:) I do not have it on hand right now, but I can prepare it from Sibelius pretty easily. I'll try to do that sometime soon.

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Margaret Eddy

Wow. The brainpower and music theory knowledge it would take to come up with that punch-line seems wasted on such a short joke.

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Margaret Eddy

But really, you could elaborate and make a fairly good, story-like, and interesting music joke off of that punch-line, but as it is, the punch-line is almost as long as the joke!

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Jedidiah Diligence Breckinridge III

A burglar was breaking into a home one night while the family was on vacation. While he was packing up the stereo system, he heard a voice say, "Jesus is watching you." He spun around, flashed his flashlight around the room, but saw no one. He assumed it was his conscience, and proceeded to sack the TV set. Then he heard, "Jesus is watching you!" Once again, he flashed his light around the room, but saw no one. Just as he was dragging his loot down the hallway, he heard, even louder this time, "Jesus is watching you!!!" He immediately said, "Who are you!" The voice answered, "It's me, Moses, in the corner." He shined his light in the corner of the hall, and saw a parrot in a cage. "Did you say that?" he asked. "Yes," said the parrot. "Who on earth would name a parrot Moses?" asked the burglar. The bird responded, "The same folks who would name a rottweiler Jesus."

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