Jokes :)

Well, yeah, he's kind of a bad kid, but even if my siblings wouldn't use that exact excuse to get out of a punishment, sometimes they use ones just as bad. (I'm sure I used to too:P)

xP LOL. Shuts mouth

This is a real life joke…

My brother looking at a magazine on a friend's counter that says you have 1 issue left, send a check to receive more: "Who would want to receive more issues?"
The friend: "Whaat????"
Me: "It says you only have one ISSUE left… Get it? Only one problem left?"
The friend: "Oh my! You guyses weird sense of humor."
Me: "Yep, that's what they all say."

What did the man who invented the door knocker get?

Here's a joke/story from Chemistry:
One day, Sodium was crying on the shoulder of his friend. His friend asked him why he was crying. Sodium replied, "I think that I've just lost one of my electrons. In fact, I'm positive."
:)

xP
There's one that's something about how a Chemist and his friend went out to eat one day, and when the waiter asked what they wanted to drink the Chemist said, "I'll have H2O", and his friend said "I'll have H2O too."

@Rosie Knocked out?

@Titus- The NoBell Prize.

I've heard that one before @Emily xP

My first is in chocolate but not in ham my second's in cake and also in jam my third at tea-time is easily found my whole is a friend who's often around. What am I?

Cat. XPP

Yep. =)

What word becomes shorter when you add 2 letters to it?

short? xP

Yep. xP

What goes up but never comes down?

Your age. :P

Yep. xP (wow, people on here sure are smarter than I thought. jkjk:P)

I have started a new topic about the ocean

Tell me if this one is bad because I will delete it if anyone thinks it is bad ok here it is

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? because he got hit by a bus ok that was only half of the joke here is the other part

Why did the dog not make it across the road? because he got hit by the boy's ice cream cone. If anyone thinks its kind

mean tell me I will delete it. My cousin told me that one.

Tell me if this one is bad because I will delete it if anyone thinks it is bad ok here it is

Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? because he got hit by a bus ok that was only half of the joke here is the other part

Why did the dog not make it across the road? because he got hit by the boy's ice cream cone. If anyone thinks its kind

mean tell me I will delete it. My cousin told me that one.

Your life.

@"Hiruko Kagetane" Does the fact that I laughed at your comment say something about my self esteem?

(I just made this one up. It is pretty easy for people who read books a lot. [like me])
How can you know that a miner likes to eat his vegetables.

Why was the toast always bad at baseball?

Something about jelly? :P

Hmm…I would say 'cause his knees turned to jelly every time it was his turn to bat, but toast doesn't have knees, so…:P

Because he always popped up! Get it? ^Popped up?^

Well, I can see how it relates to the toast, but not to baseball. :P

@Joshua - I understand it.
@brianna - Sometimes the baseball will pop up off the bat. These balls are typically easy to catch.

It's called a pop fly…I think. :P But then again, I know nothing about baseball. :P

Oh, okay.

@"ZachB - zachbaas.com" You are right. Gives you one

How do you fix a broken brass instrument? With a tuba glue. (Say it out loud.)

Why wasn't J.S. Bach at the classical concert?
Because he was Baroque

I playfully open the door to my sister's closet and peek inside
Brother, imitator that he is, does the same thing and goes into the closet
I teasingly shut the door on him
After he fumbles his way out of the dark closet, I say:
"You walked right into that one. pause Literally." xP

See what I did there? xD xP #badlatenightjokes

Oh my. XDD

xP LOL

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9.

"Now, I assume its because 7 is a prime number and prime numbers can be intimidating." -Castiel, Supernatural season 9 episode 22.

Sorry… I couldn't help it… :p

Why wasn't J.S. Bach at the classical concert?
Because he was Baroque.

XDDDDDD

Do y'all like Bible trivia type jokes? I have a couple of those… xP

I love to read all jokes. xP xD

Ok then…lets see if y'all can get these ones! xDDD

1. What kind of man was Boaz before he got married?

2. Where does the Bible say that are women not going to be allowed in heaven?

Ummmm…Ruthless? :P

I've heard that one before xD Ruthless is right. I don't know about the other one…

@"Emily H" @Eirene Yep! Ruthless is correct! :D

The answer to where does it say that women aren't going to be in heaven…its in Revelation 8:1. "And when he had opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven about the space of half an hour. XDD

xP Oh dear…. xP

Oh…my. Well, in that case I guess I must not be a woman. =P